Friday nights!
Every Friday night our local used to have a live band (I say used to, as there's barely 10 people frequent the place these days, the smoking ban and massive prices finally taking their toll), and as such we would shoot down there for the evening's entertainment, indeed on many occasion I would be in one of the bands.
I was quite young then and was living at home with my parents, my girlfriend had been with me all day and decided to get dressed at my place. Sadly, she'd forgotten a pair of knickers, and so wore a pair of shorts and went 'commando'.

After around 7-8 pints, I thought it'd be really funny to pull her shorts down from behind in the packed pub - yes, I know, what a wanker etc... I honestly thought she would just pick them up again quickly and see the funny side. Boy, was I was naive!
She did the first part - i.e. picked up her shorts, then picked up her drink - nearly a full pint of something-or-other, and threw it straight at me, glass and all (it slipped from her fingers, she wasn't that vindictive). I ducked, it hit my mate Daz square in the chest and soaked him. He retaliated without realising who it was that threw it, and soaked her, and the two people standing next to her, they retaliated by throwing their beer back in the general direction of Daz. In the end, most of that side of the bar was soaked in other people's drink.

Where's the narrow escape you ask? Well, I'd quietly slid underneath the piano opposite the bar, emerging a few minutes later as dry as a bone.
(dchurch bah, Sun 22 Aug 2010, 8:31, Reply)