YTS, young, thick, stupid
The firm next door to my warehouse used to employ 16yr old lads on some sort of training scheme. They would arrive hoodie on,rock-hard, swaggering about like 16 yr-old lads do, and soon enough they would realise that my line of work is a hell of a lot more interesting than the firm employing them.

They didn't actually have a lot of work to do and after a week or two they would be hanging about the yard, coffee in hand, boasting to me about the amount of chicks they had shagged, how much beer they could drink and how skunk never affected them, they were too hard. By then they had realised their employers weren't exactly slave-drivers and that they could really do as they pleased ie. not a lot.

I would then throw a spanner in the works. A typical conversation would go thus:

Me: "Sooooo, how you enjoying the job? Any problems? Nobody's messed about with you have they?"
Kid : "Erm, what does that mean?"
Me: "Oh, nothing,forget it"
Kid : "No, what do you mean by that, what does messed about with mean?"
Me: "Well, I shouldn't really be telling you this but.........well, you know that J & L (the bosses) are gay don't you?"

Now, at this point I should say that they are gay, but don't act it. Their partners were another story though, they are a pair of screaming benders, there is no doubt about which end they bowl from.

Kid : "W-w-w-what? Whaddaya mean?"
Me: "Well, those 2 nancies that come in are their boyfriends, not clients. That's why there are no girly calendars in the office, that's why they are totally uninterested in talking about tits or the women they have shagged and stuff. You mean you didn't know?"

The penny drops then, you could actually see it in their faces. Priceless. Every single time.

Me: "Look, it's worse than that, I heard J talking when I walked past and he was going on about giving some young lad a damned good balling after getting him blind drunk. I heard your name too."

This would usually result in the youth sloping off, and mysteriously never going back to work.
On one particular occasion the young lad was excited because he had started work just before Christmas and was looking forward to taking full advantage of the staff party, he was going to get pissed as a rat.

Me: "Erm,listen mate, just don't get too pissed, you might regret it when you wake up, if you know what I mean. You'd better get some Prep H in, a Jumbo size tube."
Kid:"They wouldn't dare. I'd get all my mates to kick the shit out of them"
Me: "Rrrrright, so if you woke up in a compromising position, you'd tell all your mates about it so they could give them a kicking"
Kid: "Yeah, er, no, erm aaargh"

Fancy that, he left just before Christmas without giving any notice. The training firm kept sending down people to find out what the problem was, why the turnover was so high. J & L's firm were baffled too, one minute the kids were enjoying a cushy number, happy as larry, next minute they were being unco-operative and sullen. There was simply no explanation, it was literally as quick as that, they'd be fine, go on a coffee break, then come back totally changed. Then they would just not turn up for work.
In the end the YTS firm stopped sending kids down without giving a reason. Most perplexing.
(Rsoles, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 13:28, 4 replies)

And now everyone thinks they're untrustworthy paedos into raping young lads placed under their care!

Yay! Everybody wins!

Sorry, but as amusing as this story is, it is a tad dodgy to say the least!
( ..wil, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 15:27, closed)

Naaaah
These lads were all over the age of consent, and I doubt any of them explained to their training officer that they thought they were going to be plied with drink and bummed. Surely they wouldn't stop sending lads down simply because the firm was run by gay men? That would be against the law, I would imagine!! I feel a lawsuit coming on!

More like, the company was hopeless, they weren't doing very well, and went pop not so long ago. (Nowt to do with me, honest!)

Anyway, one or two lads were mature enough to realise that just because they were working for gays, it didn't automatically follow they were bum-fodder. Of course, my sending letters like the one I posted after this one didn't make life any easier, but I call it character-building.

One lad weathered it all, put up with all the crap I threw at him (even though he wasn't even working for me) and moved on to bigger and better things in time. I have no doubt he is at this very moment handcuffing some cocksure trainee trouserless to a forklift and telling him he is the entertainment for the gay nightshift, in the time-honoured traditional way.

It's all about handing down good old fashioned working practices, and making life hell for the teaboy is one of the most important.
(Rsoles, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 16:05, closed)

TMI
"They would arrive hoodie on,rock-hard, swaggering about like 16 yr-old lads do"

I think I misunderstand what you are trying to say here. :(
(Richwisheshewas1337, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 23:55, closed)

No
You just have a filthy mind!
(Rsoles, Thu 20 Dec 2007, 1:30, closed)