Mr Shake Hands Man
I've been told before that I look similar to the bald music man, Moby.

There are similarities admittedly: we're both white, neither of us could be described as fat, and our hair cut, or lack of hair, cut, is exactly the same.

Anyhoo, a few years ago I was out in London buying records, as you do, and had almost clambered to the top of the stairwell of [insert record shop name that I've long since forgotten] when a young Japanese fella passed me on his way down.

He did a double take, stopped and followed me back up the stairs, where he patted me on the shoulder and insisted on shaking my hand.

I did the honest thing, and mumbled a very British apology to the effect that I probably wasn't who he thought I was, and made as though to leave.

He wasn't having any of it.

It was quite awkward for a moment; stood there in a cramped stairwell with a Japanese hand hovering in front of me waiting to be shaken, so I took the path of least resistance and succumbed to his request.

Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the bizarre game show [insert game show name, which I have also long since forgotten] that had the character Mr Shake Hands Man, but the ensuing scene was distinctly similar to that.

He pumped my palm (steady now, children) for what seemed like an eternity, while firing off question after question, fortunately too quickly for me to provide any sort of answer, and gushed about how pleased he was to meet 'me'.

I did my best to mumble responses before claiming I had a warm nut roast (or whatever it is these vegans eat nowadays) waiting for me, and made good my escape.

Hopefully he was pleased to have met Moby. I was just pleased to get away before he triggered that I wasn't really Moby.
( Moey, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 18:07, 3 replies)

Mr Shake Hands man
was on BANZAI!
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 18:20, closed)

Thas the one
I really liked Lady One Question, she used to make me laugh like a twat.
( Moey, Thu 10 Jul 2008, 18:23, closed)

Banzaiiiiiiiii
Welcome to unequalled betting opportunity in The Old Lady Wheelchair Chicken Challenge.

I used to laugh my tits off at this prog. Specially after a joint or 3....
(scowners shagged his mum on, Fri 11 Jul 2008, 9:08, closed)