mornings
before i got an alarm clock, my parents used to wake me up. My mum would usually shout for me to get up and that would be that. But when dad decided he was going to wake me up... well thats another story.

I'd be asleep then all of a sudden the door would burst open he'd run in making as much noise as possible the lights would flash on and off, the curtains would be thrown open and he'd jump up and down on the end of the bed. This carried on for a while until one morning. Now my dad is not the smallest of people when it comes to the stomach area (i usually ask him when his due date is). My bed was a very weak wooden frame with crappy legs. So you can imagine that this was just waiting to happen.

As usual 7am roles around and in runs my dad flashing the lights on and off opening the curtains, making as much noise as possible. Then, just like always, he goes to jump on the bed.
There was a loud crack. My dad fell off the bed and i slid down to the bottom of the bed.
Thats right, the end of my bed just couldn't take it anymore and collapsed.

That ritual ended that day. Although from that a new family ritual was born.
Constantly harrassing my younger sister in the mornings.

My sister is not the nicest of people at any time of day, but in the mornings she is at her worst.Then again, i can't imagine being chased by your dad brandishing a banana, spoon or any other item he can get his hands on that can be used as a toy gun would put you in a great mood.

Mornings are always interesting in my house.

.
(i eat crayons, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 19:05, 1 reply)

Don't you get the urge
to shoot him?
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Fri 21 Nov 2008, 8:08, closed)