Holidays are about excess...
...which is a fact that was totally lost on one of my former GF's sister and brother-in-law when we were unfortunate enough that her family (parents, siblings and siblings' spouses/partners where applicable) decided they'd join us for part of our hols.

We were in Tenerife for two weeks but the rest of her family were only there for one, and thank fuck. Every time we went out for a meal in the evening, we ('we' being her sister + hubby dragging the rest of us along) would, as in no few stories below, spend about two hours scrutinising every fucking menu outside every restaurant within walking distance, eventually settling on the cheapest. And because it was the cheapest, it was usually the wankiest. I could have spent as much at McDonalds and got a nicer meal out of it. As the nights wore on, my patience wore out. And this is without the English theme pub cabaret, pub quizzes and fucking Elvis impersonators they preferred as post-victual entertainment. Not what myself and the GF were looking for at all.

The last day they were there, I tried to impress the holiday/excess thing upon them and urged them to just let thier fucking hair (and wallets) down a bit. Not a bar of it. After about 90 minutes of menu-mooching that evening, I'd had enough. I told them that I hadn't flown there at some expense to see how much money I could take back home with me at the end and that with or without them, I was going have a decent meal and a decent night out.

Understandably, this put thier noses out-of-joint a tad but the GF was with me 100% so we shined them on for the rest of the night regardless. We ate a good meal in a decent restaurant, went clubbing, got halfway-to-wasted on shit vodka cocktails and shots therein and finally had a nice slow shag on the beach* in the wee hours before wandering back to the hotel with a spliff as the sun started to rise, spent in pretty much every way.

Now that's the way it's meant to be done, oh aye.

Things were a bit frosty when we saw the family off to blighty the next afternoon, but fuck 'em - the preceeding night and rest of the holiday was a blast-and-a-half for lack of thier company. I made, and the GF asked for no apologies for my gratification at seeing the back of them.

* Without the normally compulsory old Spanish bloke watching whilst playing with himself, which was a bonus.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Tue 7 Aug 2007, 9:50, Reply)