BINGO!
Family holidays? I remember going to Sandy Bay in Exmouth or Weymouth (one or the other) in my youth and in addition to my sister and my folks, we also took my Nan and great Aunt.

Nat and great Aunt were both in their late 70s and were of a 'Bingo' persuasion.

They spent the entire week - and I mean every waking minute in either an amusement arcade or a 'proper' bingo-hall.

Prize bingo, for those of you who don't know, is exactly the same as normal bingo - but without the glitz and the cash prizes. Effectively, they'd be playing bingo hoping to win paper tokens, these tokens could then be exchanged for a selection of tat from the amusement arcade kiosk.

Over the week that they played, they came back with (and I've phoned my mum to see if she can remember anything else) in exchange for their tokens…… 4 china figurines, a set of 6 plastic tumblers, more biros than they'd ever need, a small brass-effect clown, an ornamental dog and a Ewbank carpet sweeper.

The problem? Simple really, we'd ALL travelled in my old mans Renault 14 - Dad driving, Nan in the front, me, my mother and my great Aunt in the back and my sister on my mums lap.

If don't know if you are familiar with the Renault 14, but it doesn't boast a tardis like boot. In fact, the boot was full to the brim with clothing for 4 adults, a child and a baby, so there was nowhere whatsoever for any of the tat they'd won.

You'd like to think that they'd see the funny side of it, say, 'oh, but it was good fun playing, never mind' but no, they'd worked out that what they'd won, if they'd have bought it from Argos it would have cost a fraction of what they shelled out playing bingo, so they were determined to get their stuff home.

Solution? The pair of them argued with my Dad (it was his fault he didn't have a bigger car) until he agreed to drive from Sandy Bay, back to Bristol and then back to Sandy Bay the following day to pick up all of their tat.

Sadly, both old people are dead now, but it's a story that still gets discussed (when there is nothing on the telly, granted) to this day. I have no idea if any of the prize-bingo rubbish was left to anyone in the wills, but I'm sure, if it was, it would have fallen to my old man to deliver it.

I played bingo the other day, on the pier in Weston Super Mare. I got a bollocking off the bingo caller, I didn't realise a line had to be horizontal, so my shout of 'bingo, I've got a line' for the 3 or 4 vertical numbers on my card was met with distain and bemusement.

NONE OF THE OLD CUNTS FOUND IT FUNNY - MISERABLE GRAVE DODGERS.

Still, I had the last laugh, I followed one of the miserys around for a bit, watcher her drop her pension into one of those fruit machines that have 0X0 as the only win lines and won it all back. Blue rinsed fool that she is.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Aug 2007, 13:59, Reply)