Real blood
It was advertised as a bad-taste fancy dress party. I went as some kind of mad scientist, with a pair of fake balls dangling below my labcoat. My mate Jon had gone in his furry caver suit (not sure what was bad taste about that). Daft Tom had gone as a tampon, complete with blue string.

Anyway, the lovely Susan (who everyone fancied) had gone as a kind of corpse bride, and all the blokes were fawning over her and trying to impress her, as blokes do when chasing a girl. Unfortunately daft Tom and furry Jon ended up fighting. Jon slipped over and cracked his head open, which started bleeding profusely. I suddenly became sober and started to organise everyone, in particular trying to get Jon cooled down, as he was boiling inside his furry suit. Daft Tom came to help too, and got blood all over his tampon outfit, hilariously.

I ended up accompanying Jon to hospital where he got stitched up. Sitting in the waiting room, some pissed-up bloke holding a bleeding hand told me that my balls were dangling out of my coat. Not a great night.
(Smale is stuffed, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 8:32, Reply)