Braindead finger
There's a moment in Peter Jackson's best film Braindead where the protagonist's mum squirts pus into the pudding of an uptight bastard.

I've basically been having a similar experience this weekend.

I got home drunk on Friday night, and with nothing to eat and no takeaways in the immediate vicinity I decided to cook some pasta. I turned on the electric hotplates on the oven, put the pasta on and realised it wasn't cooking.

So, I touched the hotplates with my fingers to see which one I'd turned on. This is a new place and I'm used to cooking on gas, where you can definitely see which hob is turned on. I touched the last hotplate and thought to myself, "yeah, that's definitely on", and then ran my scorched fingers under a cold tap for 10 minutes. I don't usually do this, I was just pissed.

Woke up the next morning with a terrible hangover and toothpaste all over my charred fingers (apparently it's good for burns). Overnight a huge blister had formed on the tip of my left middle finger.

Today (Sunday) the blister was starting to irritate me, I was constantly playing with it. So, with my girlfriend's advice I decided to lance the fucker. I made a small incision, and some serum seeped out. I squeezed a little harder, and the pussy substance from within the blister sprayed all over the wall.

Me and the missus went to the pub, and I was fiddling with the blister again, and some more liquid squirted out over the old guy sitting behind me's head. He didn't seem to notice.

Now, my girlfriend has just moved in to a new flat, and I was chatting to her landlady, who I'd not really met before. Again, I found myself squeezing the blister, and a huge amount of serum randomly squirted all over myself. She noticed. Queue awkward silence, and the landlady giving me some slightly odd looks. I'm not entirely sure what she makes of her new tenant's boyfriend.

Each time the blister squirts, I find myself thinking of Braindead. So thanks for that Mr Jackson.
( krang, Sun 20 Jul 2008, 23:56, 1 reply)

Good God.
It seems that I will never learn - when you see the word 'pus' in the first line of a post, you either skip that post or STOP EATING.
(Mr. In-Between has regretted posting this ever since, Mon 21 Jul 2008, 1:43, closed)