How clean is your house?"Part of my kitchen floor are thick with dust, grease, part of a broken mug, a few mummified oven-chips, a desiccated used teabag and a couple of pieces of cutlery", says Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic. To most people, that's filth. To some of us, that's dinner. Tell us about squalid homes or obsessive cleaners.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 13:00)
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I had a housemate who, like most friends in this particular QOTW, was disgusting.
He once burped / vomited a spring roll / beer pulp into his hand, then slurped it back in again.
He had decided to make duck spring rolls several days previous. He laid out the duck, the cabbage, the cucumber – your basic parts of the aforementioned snack – on the coffee table. Then he left. For days. Our cats took to snacking from these spring roll building blocks and maggots began to erupt from the duck. Slug trails appeared. Thinking, surely, he’ll never eat this stuff, I let it sit out so it could metabolise into something more energetic. I wasn't about to start cleaning for his sake.
I came home from the pub one night to find my housemate eating freshly deep-fryed duck spring rolls. This was when his burp (the vurp? The bomit?) happened.
Not the type to fry my meals, I opened my deep fat fryer many years later. It was full of congealed duck spring roll remains.
(, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 17:03, Reply)
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