I'll just let this roasted pea roll out.
Whilst at Uni in London, my friend Paul moved in to the recently vacated spare room at another mate’s house.

Before he could move his stuff in, he had to clear out the detritus the previous guy had left behind.

Whilst emptying the contents of the wardrobe into black bags, he found a rubber fanny wrapped up in a carrier bag.
Being the curious fellow he is, instead of instantly discarding it in the bin like a normal person, he decided to unwrap it and have a good look at it and to see how it works.

Whilst holding it up to the light to see how the vibrating mechanism was sited, a thick globule of old jizz rolled out of the rubber minge and dropped onto his face.

He claims to have thrown it away and not to have tried using it.
( Dervel OTBC, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 14:59, 3 replies)

Your mate is a lying cunt.
He kept it and used it.
Fact.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Wed 8 Feb 2012, 21:48, closed)

And yes, it did land on his face.
But to be more precise it was in his face. In his mouth. And he loved it.
And it wasn't your mate.
It was you.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Wed 8 Feb 2012, 21:49, closed)

You aren't very good at anything.

( Dervel OTBC, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 11:58, closed)