Going Too FarEver had one of your mates go too far? Back when I was a teenager I went to stay with a friend in the country. We took his dog for a walk in some woods - which was fun.
We came across a breeding pen for the local pheasant shoot - which was interesting.
But then my friend broke into the cages, grabbed a pheasant, strangled it and proceeded to throw it around, only managing to rescue it from his dog's jaws seconds before a gamekeeper turned up to see what the hell was going on. Now, that was a bit too far...
(
chthonic, Fri 10 Nov 2006, 14:11)
« Go Back
Scent too farVets - don't ya love em?
There is a proceedure which causes a vet's heart to sink, and it's prefaced by the phrase 'My dog is rubbing its backside along the ground'.
The reason dogs do this is because their anal scent glands get blocked, and kinda itchy. Anal scent glands get stimulated (i.e. squeezed) every time a dog lays a toffee. They produce, as you might expect, anal scent. In essence, essence of dog shit. It's a translucent brown oil.
The proceedure to unblock them is simple, simply insert a gloved finger up the dog's doodah, and with your thumb on the outside, squeeze like a mother.
These things can, apparently squirt quite a distance, making the six or so inches for the average spot on to a mirror seem quite paltry.
His claim to fame was that he once aimed a dog's anus into the handbag of an overly snobby pooch fancier.... and covered the contents, including her chequebook and purse in essence of dog shit, from six feet away.
I think he made her pay by Visa.
(, Tue 14 Nov 2006, 16:32, Reply)
« Go Back