B3ta Cherry Poppin...
And lo it was many moons ago that I found myself in the 7th circle of hell; AKA Amadeus night club in the chav birth place horror story that is the Medway Towns. A club that is far from home and non-extortionately priced public transport. A club of Rohypnol, underage girls in low-cut fanny-skimming, backless, frontless polyester, sovereign rings, Mackenzie, florescent drinks and a DJ who insists on yabbering over the top of the God awful choons about Stacey's 18th Birfffday etc. You're getting the picture.

Anyway I think I was about 17 and standing in the queue to drown my sorrows in said brightly coloured alcohol, hoping to numb the pain of being here in the first place. I say 'queue' but it was more of a stampeding heaving mosh pit of youths desperate for more brain cells to be killed. And so I was separated from friends, on my own and unable to move in the midst of goons and sweaty armpits. And it was while I was in this situation that I suddenly felt my arse being groped heavily; in a shockingly intimate and scary way; strange hands moving precariously close and around my very private parts. I turn round sharpish to confront El-Sleazo (who is practically salivating and playing with his member) and tell him to piss off whilst looking/feeling totally disgusted and violated. Does he back off according to my wishes? Ha! He immediately does exactly the same thing only with more gusto. I squeeze out of the queue/pit and back to my friends, sober as a judge and quietly weeping.

Apologies for slight off topic-ness but the current Mr ElDoofus seduced me with booze and persistence and there is little else to the story. Gents take note: sometimes the hands-on approach is effective; but please opt for a good old fashioned slap on the bum and not a full on arse molesting whilst your victim is unable to move. Not nice.

First post, long time lurker. Be gentle :)
(Eldoofus, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 18:29, 3 replies)

I feel your pain
Just being forced to endure the shitehole that is Amadeus is bad enough, without being felt up by one of Medway's Finest as well.
(Uncle Comrade, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 18:59, closed)

Should have given him a swift knee to the nadgers.

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Tue 2 Sep 2008, 19:33, closed)

You just dont get that kind of riff raff down Jay Jay's...
...
(wrigglesworth, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 11:17, closed)