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This is a question Guilty Secrets

We were shocked - nay, disgusted - to read on an internet discussion forum of a chap's confession that his darkest, guiltiest secret was that he recently cracked one out over press photos of tragic MILF Kate McCann. He reasoned that "she's a good Catholic girl and looks dirty, so she'd probably go bareback".

What guilty secrets can you no longer keep to yourself?

(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 12:22)
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Tortoises can't fly. Can't even glide.
When I was but a young Enzyme, I was asked to look after the neighbours' tortoise while they were on holiday. One fine morning, as I picked her up, she pooed. I was only young, and it freaked me out a bit (I was easily freaked); result: dropped the beast.

A little while later, the tortoise had to be put down because of a nasty infection in a crack down her shell. Oops. Think that might have had something to do with me.

I've been carrying that around with me for something like 20 or 25 years. I am genuinely ashamed. When I get to Hell, one of my punishments will involve being dropped onto a garden path by a giant tortoise. For eternity.

Click "I like this!" if you think that personal visions of Hell would provide an amusing QOTW.
(, Fri 31 Aug 2007, 14:06, Reply)

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