I'll write them as a list, it seems appropriate…
Nothing can be wonky. Pictures have to be straight. Coasters have to be in parallel to table edges. Rugs have to be parallel to sofas.

CD's, DVD's and books have to be arranged alphabetically by artist/director/author and then chronologically.

All food items on a plate have to be eaten individually and in the order: Veg, spuds, meat or rice/pasta then sauce.

The whites on fried eggs have to be removed and eaten before the yolk can be touched. If the yolk bursts then the egg is to be discarded. If successful the yoke is to be eaten whole so it bursts in your mouth.

Bean sauce cannot touch any other food group with the exception of chips. Chip dams should be built to contain the sauce and protect the sausages etc.

Mushrooms should be peeled before cooking. Yes they bloody should.

When sitting idle you should lick the roof of your mouth, this will tickle, make a funny noise and make your cheeks puff out slightly.

When you're a passenger in a car you should count off the broken white lines in the centre of the road by tapping the canine teeth on the left hand side of your mouth together as you pass each line. This should be done in multiples of 24.

Volume settings on televisions and stereos should always be set to an even number, preferably in multiples of 6.

All condiments should be kept in the fridge.

Condiments are never to be put on food, this would be wrong. Food should be dunked into condiments.

All notes in your wallet should be in order with the smallest value notes at the front. The Queen should always be the right way up and facing forwards.

No coin of a value smaller than a 20p is to be carried about, these should be deposited in their relevant pots at home each evening.

When reading you cannot stop part way through a chapter. If the book has no chapters then you should finish when you reach a paragraph which ends at the top of the left hand page.

Cigarette butts should be squeezed so they go an oval shape before lighting.

Finger nails can only be cut whilst in the garden during the evening. No idea why.

Strange noises you hear on television, outside etc should be mimicked immediately and repeated later.

Only you are permitted to use the Cornelius the Kellogg's chicken breakfast bowl.

Think that'll do for now.

For the record, with practice most people will not notice you doing these things and you can successfully integrate into society.
( Dervel OTBC, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:09, 3 replies)

No No Nooooooooo
When counting stuff or setting volumes and such one must use fives, and if you can get into tens, that is much preferred. Although I agree entirely with the parallel rule for furniture and such , or squared off if possible with an even gap.
(M61A1 CUPID- STUNTS, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:23, closed)

I shall ignore you
Vulcans aren't logical.
( Dervel OTBC, Fri 2 Jul 2010, 10:36, closed)

Bean sauce
and chip dams - YES! Shit - I didn't even realise it :-(
( Boot I want to know what you meant, Sat 3 Jul 2010, 10:19, closed)