I am going to hell for lying
I told people at Uni that I was a Mature Student because I had spent time in Prison for "Involuntary Man Slaughter", what ever the hell that is... Then I had to pad out the story when asked for details by a gullible fresher!

The lie was born when I got bored of the usual excuse of "I spent a couple of years being Dole Scum and riding my mountain Bike on Dartmoor!" I elaborated and the story became that I dropped a client off of a mountain while working as a Climbing Instructor and then spent three years at her Majesties Leisure.

So from no where a rumour spread around the Uni that I was a maniac, which I thought hugely funny... Until the young teenage fresher from the Channel islands confronted me and was horrified that I had lied to him for a "Joke"...

Cue much guilt and I know I am going to burn... Especially when I became a Satanist for a few weeks out of boredom during a Summer Holiday!

Also I love Sickipedia and laugh really loudly and inappropriately at jokes about Rape. My favourite being 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape...

I can feel the flames licking at my ankles already...
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 10:34, 4 replies)

I am a feminist and a firm believer in all rapists should be sodomized by a room full of big ugly lifers but.....
I couldn't help but laugh like a fiend when I heard the joke.


One women in the world gets raped every 3 minutes.


Well she must be getting fed up of it by now.
( girlinthehole, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 10:46, closed)

haha @ bgb
also, the 9/10 thing can be supplemented by adding,

"ten, if it's your Mum".

I like a 'your Mum' joke.

My mates and my quiz team is called "Your Ma".
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 11:38, closed)

"Well she must be getting fed up of it by now."
I discovered a few weeks ago that Amnesty International street-questioning-people don't like that response.
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 13:47, closed)

With regards to psycho status
Most people here think I'm a psycho. I'm not, but I have a very dry sense of humour (most of the time), and tend to say things meant as jokes in a deadly serious way. That's a dangerous combination when what you're saying (to someone who is pissing you off) is "Spence, do you know what it feels like to have a pint glass shoved up your arse so far you're coughing glass?"

Cue one of the girls on the table pulling a horrified face and saying "Would you actually do that?!"
( MatJ LOOK, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 20:04, closed)