House Guests"Last week," Ungersven confesses, "I vomited over almost everything in a friend's spare room. The only thing to escape the deluge was the rather attractive (alas engaged) French girl who was sharing the bed with me." Tell us about nightmare guests or Fred West-a-like hosts.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 14:20)
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Let it snow!I have mentioned my ex housemate Rob a few times before and while I could repost the one about him and his paper bag I have swore to myself that I will avoid reposting anything.
I remember one Saturday morning I returned home after a few days away (Due to work) to find the front garden covered in a fine layer of white. While the idea of a garden buried under a layer of white may not seem out of place this time of year it did look a little odd in when I arrived at the scene as it was the middle of summer.
On closer inspection it turned out that the layer of artificial snow was in fact a layer of rice that had solidified somehow. I opted to go inside survey the rest of the damage in the house and find out why the hell we had something that would probably be featured on the next series of weird kitchen creations by Heston Blumenthal* in our front garden.
Eventually Rob managed to rise from his room and filled me in on the situation.
Mon: Rob, what’s with the rice out front
Rob: Oh yeah that. I had Sally over Wednesday night and tried to impress her by cooking. The rice just went really hard each time I tried it so I threw it out before ordering a takeaway instead.
Mon: What…how many times did you try it and why the hell did you throw it in the front sodding garden? Theres a bin in the kitchen?
Rob: I forgot about that bin
Me: Hang on….Wednesday night? That’s been there a few days
Rob: Yeah sorry, do you wanna go play on the PS2
Me: Erm no we need to get that crap tidied up, god knows what we could have in there, I don’t want rats
Rob: Mon don’t be stupid, rats only live in large cities, this is Barnsley
(At this point my brain short circuits and I go get changed and spend some time in the front garden with Rob clearing up the mess, I swear some of the times I had to break the lumps with a spade).
I have a feeling I may be posting a few more Rob tales this week.
*I can’t remember the real name for the series it’s just the one where Blumenthal gets a number of celebs to have a dinner and amaze them by making an edible chair from sherbert and badgers foreskin etc etc.
(, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:53, Reply)
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