We have a new flatmate. He never locks the fucking door.
Even when he comes in the house. I tell him, but he keeps replying "yeah, but we're *in* the house, so it doesn't matter. He forgets the fact our rooms are upstairs.

I went downstairs, and heard the door slam. I thought nothing of it- as I assumed it was either my flatmate or his girlfriend. But the shadow in the window was of someone… sneaking. Now, you don’t see much people sneaking nowadays. But, it was hunched- it was bouncy- it was a full on sneak! Now, I don’t care much for people sneaking about, so I did the stupid thing and went outside. Sure enough, the sneaker kept sneaking, went over the fence and hid round the side of my neighbour’s car.

So, I went out onto the gravel, went into my neighbour’s garden and saw the sneaker lying down. Sneakily.

“Hello?” I asked

“Shh!” was the responce. I was being shushed by a burglar.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m hiding. Somebody’s looking for me”

“Yeah,” I thought, “I am”. But I didn’t say that. It would have been pretty cool if I had. But, alas, I’m not James Bond. In fact, I didn’t even have the potential to have this guy arrested, as I had forgotten two things. Firstly, my phone. Secondly, my shoes. I don’t think anybody has ever tried to run after a burglar without wearing any shoes.

The potential burglar’s story was that somebody was looking for him and he was hiding. I didn’t really believe this (as I am a sane person), so I did the easiest thing I could. I knocked on the neighbour’s door.

“What do you think you’re doing?” asked the burglar, “Geez, why not get the whole street involved?!”

I planned to. But, no time. The neighbour wasn’t answering the door (why would he, what with all the sneakers sneaking around). I decided to go back inside my house and call for my flatmate, to see if we could get the guy. I turned back one last time to see the guy walk off in the middle of the street still sneaking. With streetlamps on him.

When I went back in, me and my flatmate drove around the village, seeing if we could spot this lovely man. We did not. Getting back to the house, I checked all of downstairs. To be honest, it would have been odd had the burglar taken anything. He didn’t have a rucksack with him, so he couldn’t have stolen anything big. And, the potential items he could have stolen downstairs consists of shoes and dirty plates. He’d have been doing us a favour.

I think the doors need to stay locked. I yelled at said flatmate later, but he just grinned it off and said "yeah, but at least he didn't take anything".
(__, Sat 28 Feb 2009, 20:39, 2 replies)

Nicely told
*click*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Sun 1 Mar 2009, 20:10, closed)

Great story
*click*
( chart cat has an itch, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 9:08, closed)