Housemates Girlfriend.
My housemate had a girlfriend. She bored the shit out of us, but we didn't mind, at least he was getting his hole. Well I say we didn't mind, we didn't mind until she started turning up uninvited. Especially when he wasn't in.

Our house has one of those locks that needs to be locked with a key, rather than a yale type job. We only tend to lock this at night. She started letting herself in, something that I thought a little rude, especially as my housemate had told her to let herself in once, when he was expecting her. Anyway, my housemate was down for the leeds festival, my other housemate was working. I knew that I had the house to myself and had just finished work, I was in the mentality that I had the next few hours to myself, I could slob out and not have to talk to anyone. So I'm sat there at about midnight watching a repeat of TNG, keeping myself to myself, and who comes through the door? Housemates missus. Great, being in the state of mind I was in, patter wasn't something I was planning on, cue a couple of hours of silence and me trying to ignore her. Apart from a conversation that went like this
"Hi, you do know that B isn't back till Sunday?"
"I thought monday"

I learned my lesson and kept the front door locked, so I was rather shocked to find her walking in through the back door. She was rather shocked to see a dishevelled lanky cunt lying in their gruds on the sofa though.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 1 Mar 2009, 22:16, Reply)