And drippage.
Don't forget the drippage.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Mon 2 Mar 2009, 11:51, 1 reply)

Worst of all tho...
.....is The Early Morning Pube Split Double Stream - a horrible situation that only occurs on the first piss of the day.

This is where a pube or other bit of night time detritus has lodged in the jap a bit (or the eye has glued itself shut in the centre), causing the piss to jet out in 2 streams, usually around 30 degrees apart and on different elevation tracks.

It's impossible to slow or stop the first piss of the morning, and you have to quickly hop around trying to find an angle that allows both streams to hit the loo, while simultanously trying to rectify the problem without pissing on your fingers.

It's like the fucking Krypton Factor. If Gordon Burns was into watersports.
(NoveltyCondomHead Clanks Wams., Tue 3 Mar 2009, 10:43, closed)