When I was younger
I went to stay with a friend for a few weeks.

He was a bit strange to some, but I thought he was absolutely brilliant, it was like we were on the same level. His house was awsome, it was massive, like a palace, really. He even had servants who’d bring me sandwiches and pop when I wanted. Probably the most amazing thing was all the fun stuff we’d do together, he even had fun fair rides in his garden.

Absolutely awsome!

Then one night he crawled into bed with me and asked me to touch him in his secret place...

I left the next day and sued the dirty fucker. Thankfully, we reached a settlement out of court.

Unfortunately he didn’t actually have the money he agreed to pay me, but apparently he’s announcing a new tour today, so I’m hopeful I’ll receive it soon.
( SpankyHanky, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 15:49, 3 replies)

I can vouch for this...
Because I am Spanky's Dad.

I used to be a shithawk hollywood dentist but had crap aspirations of becoming a screenwriter - this was despite the fact that I had no.talent.whatsoever.

I went around for ages trying to flog the goadawful script to the abomination to movies that was 'Robin Hood: Men in tights'.*

I then had the incredibly jammy stroke of spawny luck to discover that ol' Wacko Jacko had the horn for my son!

Of course, I could'nt hoof him at the pervy cunt quick enough...'Of course you can sleep in his room' I said...

Then, being a compassionate dad, didn't give a fuck about my boy getting fruited up, but DID give a very large fuck about the possible blackmail possibilities. I went to Jacko and ordered him to fund my movie.

Despite being clinically barking, Jacko could tell a shite film when he saw one and told me to sling my cunty hook.

So we sued him for millions, and I used the publicity to get the dog-turd of a movie made.

Job done.

Don't get me wrong people...Michael Jackson is an almighty cuntcake - but I'm an even bigger one.

Love,

Evan Chandler

*I've just thought...given Spanky's shocking taste in movies he probably likes Robin Hood: Men in shites
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 4 Mar 2009, 16:29, closed)

Thanks, dad
All I can say is Jackos cock tasted nicer than yours...

Oh, and I haven't seen Robin Hood: Men in Tights. I have seen Rubbin' Cock: Men outta tights... is it similar???
( SpankyHanky, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 16:33, closed)

Then one night he crawled into bed with me and asked me to touch him in his secret place...
Up untill that line I thought this was going to be a reference to Richie Rich. Instead you used Jackson. This post has been processed in my head as Macaulay Culkin, touching and Michael Jackson. How unlikely!
(Fluffy_Giblets, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 16:56, closed)