Oh the joy....
Having been to two different universities I had the fortune to live in 2 sets of halls, and a few different shared houses...

Now where to startnot so much a house mate from hell but certainly a very interesting fella I shared with in 1998 in Halls in London. Socially inept, but all being new I tried to get him to tag along when we went out on the lash... and to be involved with what ever we were doing.... but it was for some time later that we found out his reason for lack of social abilities.. now this lad was a good 6ft tall, and skinny as a rake, ugly as hell... crap at his studies - but it wasn't just that.. he did smell a tad, but it was the fat he used to be 25 odd stone!!! he'd grown through puberty as a leper... poor fella... never relaly liked him though havent heard from him since... In those halls we made the interesting discovery also that the greek guy who didnt speak a word of english and chain smoked had a gun, we werent sure if it was here or in greece, but it was somewhat lucky we got on...

Now jump forward a few years, and I'm in the midlands... and we get to meet another collection of misfits... although more so this time I think they'd just thrown us all together as some form of experiment. One lad a total stoner would get violent at night, and very forgetful...

One night he took a disliking to one of the communal shower doors with a 12inch kitchen knife, and chair...

He also decided that a deep fat frier was the ideal cooking tool for a very cronic stoner... once leaving it on all night... luckilly we didnt all die... then another time leaving it unplugged but on the electric stove which was.

His first time away from home one lad was introduced to the perils of smoking too by said friend... from geeky if slightly slow virgin to paranoid heavy smoking drop out geeky virgin... apparantly he actually had some form of breakdown and went to another uni far away.

Now the last guy from this flat was just wrong soo soo wrong...
Also a social miss fit asain lad from Glasgow, he was about 5'2 who held asperations to becomea body builder... only he didnt like the excercise part.. or rather his excercise regieme was 5 minutes once a month with some dumbells or what ever they are called... he was also nocurnal and only really ate those protein body building potions... Poor lad had a thing for prostitues - I cant imagine he'd have returned for a second year... he did smell a really strange musty type of smell even though he did shower...

Now sorry for the length... but this final lad I can't give too many details as it would be too obvious who he is... but weird and strange really did seem to attract...

a mate and I teamed up as were slightly older to look for a 2 bedroomed place that wasnt too studenty and we'd be able to keep respectable...

we hunted but nothing was within our price range, or rather being a tight wad geordy nothing came close to his 150 a month rent limit...

So we ended up looking on notice boards and found a chap that was looking to share... he turns up, he seems okish... we take him out on the piss... to get to know him... although I had my concerns in a sea of cider my judgement slipped and we welcommed into our seach...

the first few weeks go by and alls fine, he is slightly weird in a wear the same clothes for weeks on a time, has aspirations to drop his computer course for which he only has the ability to sign up for a yahoo email account... drinks whilst chewing his mug endless quantities of tea... and survives on bacon sandwiches... he mumbles to him self constantly and has paranoia (he never would explain that)... he got drunk and had one of his eye brows shaved off.. so he decides the logical thing is to shave off the other...

Then to make matters worse I go away for a week to find my internet connection has been severed to my room, and hes stuffed paper in the sockets... just because I didnt pay the bill!!! the ejit....

oh he also used to get scared if anyone had and argument and regulalry ran off in tears...

I feel slightly guilty typing this.. as although not perfect, perhaps I was the flatmate from hell afterall!!!

Never share with Geordies or Scitzo strangers.
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Wed 11 Apr 2007, 13:27, Reply)