Toilets
My wife is constantly telling me not to leave the toilet seat up when she wants to use it.

But every time I go in there for a piss she's left the seat down - sometimes with the lid down too.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:03, 31 replies)

I don't get this either
It just doesn't make any sense
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:14, closed)

I can explain this one.
Women dont pee on the seat, ergo, you never get their pee on your hands when you lift the seat.

If you believe you dont pee on the seat, check the underside for yellow stains.

Trust me, you do.

We all do, us boys.

rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:18, closed)

.
I pee in the sink, or in the shower for a treat. But the seat - never.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:25, closed)

Women don't pee on the seat?
Have you ever seen the inside of a ladies' loo?

They pee pretty much everywhere except in the bowl. It's because none of them will ever sit down, only squat perilously above the seat, so they make a mess, and then use the previous person's mess as an excuse for not sitting down, thus perpetuating the cycle.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:30, closed)

it's the public versus private peeing debate, that one
I just grin and bear it and clean the beggar.

If ya gotta go, ya gotta go.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:43, closed)

I
used to know a girl who even managed to crap on the underside of the seat, at home too! Funk knows how....
This so deserves to win!
( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:33, closed)

Ha
My fella stresses this point (a LOT) too
( DUMBLONDE is a rubber lover girl, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:51, closed)

My lady housemates explained the logic of this.
If I (a bloke) didn't live there, then they would never have to touch the seat. Ever. It would always be down.

But seeing as my presence in the house meant the seat would go up and down, then it was my duty to ensure they never suffered from my actions, and could go about their business as they always had.

I had no argument against this, much to my chagrin.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:58, closed)

In that case...
...if they didn't live there, you'd be able to wander into the rooms they are currently occupying with no thought of their state of undress. Why should you avert your eyes just because they happen to be in your field of vision?

On a more useful note, you are now able to turn this argument back on them every time they do anything which affects you in any way.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 14:27, closed)

I would also add...
...that if they didn't live there, then the kitchen would always be free for him to use, so every time they use the kitchen and he wants to eat he will be suffering from their actions because he cannot cook his tea whilst they are cooking theirs, thus going hungry. So they should always cook for him if they are cooking for themselves and he is hungry.

I like this, but there is a fatal flaw. You're assuming women can be reasoned with, which I think you'll find is impossible.
(Brigadier Arthur Charles, Mrs, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 18:26, closed)

Polite vs. Rude
If you're all paying rent, you're each entitled equally. In your position I'd say that you let them know it'd be POLITE of you to try and leave it down for their sake, but RUDE of them to be upset if you don't.

Why? Because you shouldn't apologize for your sex. Nor should you be made to feel as though you have to. And they shouldn't feel entitled on account of their sex, either. "Women and children first" is the same sentiment that prohibits women from being the captain.

And tell them you got all this from someone with a degree in Women's Studies (not that this isn't common sense, but the degree means I can expand all this to several pages and use big fancy words).
(jessemoya, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 6:03, closed)

It's simple Browser
The key to married life is to understand that you are always wrong. As the philosophical question goes: If a man says something and there isn't a woman there to hear him is he still wrong?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 19 Feb 2009, 14:02, closed)

.
I have come to realise that.
I get my revenge though - sometimes I go for a pint of Guinness on my own and don't tell anyone.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 14:19, closed)

I ALWAYS lift and return the seat to a closed possition and not only that, but i put the lid down too
That way the bitch has to do some work every time and i can complain about HER not putting the lid down :D
( Victor Meldrew, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 14:18, closed)

This is quite a devilish plan
hehehe
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 14:34, closed)

This is a great idea...
I'm taking it onboard from NOW.

B3tans - changing the world a little at a time
( snee held his breath since, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 16:00, closed)

Too fucking right
.
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 14:33, closed)

as a girl
it annoys me when people put the lid down - as I'm worried there will be a huge great festering turd or something under it, but I think it's fair enough to leave the seat down as men sometimes need it down, sometimes up depending on the erm job, and women always want it down, so it's right more of the time
(deadly_sinners, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 17:20, closed)

Scared that the festering turd might leap out and grab you by the throat?
Don't worry; they're inanimate.

As for putting the lid down, I've dropped far too many things down the toilet for comfort, so I got in the habit of putting the lid down to reduce the risk of something valuable going the same way as last night's curry.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 9:16, closed)

they may be inanimate....
...but there might also be SPIDERS! and they WILL get you, girls! Really!

Best to leave the seat up so you can make sure there aren't any SPIDERS under there before you SIT DOWN ON THEM and they GET YOU!
(EffinDoubt is breaking glass on, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 9:25, closed)

My girlfriend...
...manages just fine without putting the seat down, it's just a case of hovering in the right position. Never a spilt drop either. This could be because she grew up with the more economical model of crapper than we're used to (a hole in the ground with bricks either side of it for standing on).

Besides, it's easier to put a seat down than it is to lift it up, as long as you don't mind gravity slamming down the seat.
(Brigadier Arthur Charles, Mrs, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 18:31, closed)

I live on my own
but I always put the seat and cover down after use. It's neater, and pissy spray from the flush can't get to my toothbrush that way.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 21:04, closed)

That pissy spray
can travel up to six feet from the toilet, so for hygiene reasons, it's best to close the lid before flushing.
And as a bonus it stops any seat up/down arguments.
(teff, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:32, closed)

Lid always closed now
My housemate recently adopted a cat, whose party trick is to knock the toilet roll off the top of the cistern (no fancy toilet roll holders for us pikies).

After the 10th or so drowned full toilet roll, I managed to get the flatmates to close the lid too.

I've just reread that and it's the cat that knocks the toilet roll off the cistern, not the housemate.
(Blue_in_Exile, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 12:38, closed)

This is a major pet peeve of mine.
My girlfriend got upset with me once after I left the seat up at her place. The next time she was at mine I insisted that she leave MY seat UP.


Years later and we've never had a discussion about toilet seats since.
(jessemoya, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 6:01, closed)

That's all very well
but one day there will be volcano of repressed toilet-rage. Perhaps on Trisha.
(Necroflange, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 10:25, closed)

.
I've got to be honest, I put the seat down after. Its really not a big deal and the wife is happy. Whats the point in arguing over something so trivial?
(kebabking - salad and garlic mayo pls, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 13:50, closed)

shit
that was a bit sensible for a friday afternoon


erm... cock!
(kebabking - salad and garlic mayo pls, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 13:51, closed)

Just offer
to not put the seat up in the first place.
(Richy_T hundreds if not thousands of dollars, Sun 22 Feb 2009, 2:19, closed)

Two thoughts:

1: Do you really need to put the seat up? Is your aim THAT bad?

2: I think some people put the lid down after doing their business to stop any droplets of piss and shit tainted water splashing out when they flush. Probably a bit paranoid, but I can see why people might do it if they're the ones that have to clean the toilet.
(Musuko, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 9:37, closed)

LOOK OUT!
SPIDER!
(EffinDoubt is breaking glass on, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 9:27, closed)