HR Insanity
This is pretty much word for word an email I got last year from someone in our HR department whom I knew.


From: HR Bot
To: Powervator
CC: Powervator’s director, CFO, CEO

Subject: Usage of inappropriate language

Powervator,

It has come to my attention that you used inappropriate language in an official, auditable, month-end financial report that you wrote. Although we did not receive an official complaint as such, once it was brought to our attention we felt that this sort of thing should be nipped in the bud as soon as possible. As I am sure that you are aware, this company does not condone in any way, shape, or form, racist language, tone, or behaviour. Your usage of the word ‘niggardly’ therefore did not adhere to this principle and thusly did not adequately reflect the general tenets of the company’s racial equality program that we have laid down and ask(ed!) you to respectfully abide by. Adhesion to this policy is also part of your employment contract.

Looking at your record, although you have not historically displayed any sort of racial prejudice or more general overtly racist behaviour, this incident must and will be recorded on your permanent employee file and could be used in the event of a disciplinary hearing.

As it currently stands, you should consider this to be a formal first strike warning. If two such further incidences arise, then this will be treated as gross misconduct and grounds for instant dismissal.

On a personal note, I know you didn’t mean to write this word and I am sure that you will refrain from using it in the future. Ordinarily we wouldn’t make a big deal of it but times have changed and we have a few coloureds, nig-nogs and pakis that make up the local employment tribunal so we have to kick up a fuss and be seen to be doing the right thing.

No hard feelings.

Yours sincerely,

HR-Bot.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 17:11, 10 replies)

LOL You are obviously wasted in that company.
Which dumbass didn't know what niggardly meant and WTF was he doing reading a financial report?

Obviously didn't read Chaucer.
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 17:24, closed)

See #11
www.yankeepotroast.org/archives/2008/09/11_words_that_s.html
(stalinism, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 18:13, closed)

Seriously?
closes eyes
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 17:24, closed)

I like this.
I was finding myself becoming unusually slightly agitated in sympathy.

Then I reached the end of the last paragraph and laughed heartily.

Very good.
( Moey, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 17:40, closed)

You should consider yourself lucky you've not been fired.
You are clearly guilty of suspected racism and in an ideal world, you'd be serving a considerable prison sentence by now.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 20 Feb 2009, 23:47, closed)

I am going to use the word "niggardly" at every possible moment at work.
And I hope that some fuckwit tries to take me to task for it.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 0:19, closed)

*sigh*
No...
(idle insomniac enjoys listening to Sigur Rós at stupid hours, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 2:43, closed)

true story?
Although I once got an irate phone call about the use of the phrase "a caucus race" (from Alice in Wonderland, all have won and all must have prizes, and they are all given comfits) who took exception to its imagined connotations. And this was before the legislation that made imagined connotations real connotations. After that, I only say now all have won and all must have prizes. Lewis Carroll rolling in grave, political correctness gone made, going to hell in a handcart etc...
(cheesehead, Sun 22 Feb 2009, 15:52, closed)

True enough
And it looks like I am not alone.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Controversies_about_the_word_%22niggardly%22
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Sun 22 Feb 2009, 17:13, closed)

Niggardly, rascally sheep-biter.
Should have been drowned at birth.
(Helixdaunting, Sun 22 Feb 2009, 23:01, closed)