An Illustrious career
A bloke down my local tells the most ridiculous lies, completely stone faced, and expects us to lap it up.

We all started cottoning on to the fact after a while and laughed about it when he wasn't there. Eventually it came up in conversation and he still maintained that it was completely true.

For instance, he has been a hairdresser, an IT expert (helped set up help desks) and also a database administrator, a bar manager, a chef, a karate instructor, an actor... I think there were more, but they've slipped my mind.

He went on about how long he did each job for (seeing as they all require a reasonable amount of training). One of the guys sat there quietly the whole time, listening, then at he end piped up with - you must be about 120 by now then...

This had him a bit stumped, but apparently he did them all at the same time...

erm.. yeah, whatever.

When I started grilling him about when he was a DBA, i thought i'd trick him by asking a few technical questions. I started off with a fairly simple one... what does SQL stand for?

"It stands for Sequel" with a big smug grin.

me: "yeah, that's how you say it, but what does it stand for?"

This continued for a while until I finally told him what it really stood for, and he claimed that it's not the kind of thing a DBA would know about.

I could go on, but I'm even boring myself now.
( HoratioFellatio Taking the the out of psychotherapist, Tue 4 Dec 2007, 19:00, 1 reply)

Jim the fib
thats what we called our local pub liar. He often told falklands war stories and how he was flown out to vietnam on a special mission once and that he was a racing driver at 20 and did 160mph on the M1 etc. The funny thing is that the bastard was telling the truth the whole time and only after about 4 years decided to show us the photos etc. Unbelievable...
( op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Tue 4 Dec 2007, 22:45, closed)