Cosmic Bob
'Ning all....

Oxford B3tans, especially those who lived here 10 years ago or so, will doubtless remember the whiffy shuffling fraud who went under the moniker "Cosmic Bob".

He would oft be seen 'juggling' fruit on St. Giles or Little Clarendon St, although what this juggling turned out to be was simply an inept shuffling of tangerines from hand to hand, occasionally throwing and catching one, accompanied by the mantra "Spare any change, beautiful person".
Do you know what? The bloody well did too! Stacks of it! He could often be seen after a hard day's citrus-shuffling, in Georgina's Cafe, counting out 20 to 30 quid at a time, giggling to himself.

We got to know where he would be, and avoided him like the smelly old perv he was after he started using his position of minor local celebrity to leer down local girls' tops and invite them to be his 'special magical friends with beautiful auras', or some other cosmic tosh.
Wanker.

Sorry, wanker in a pointy hat, and that's the best bit of him really. The wizard's hat he wore to simultaneously identify himself and alert savvy locals to his presence.
The fraudulent twat disappeared about 10 years ago, presumably when eirther the locals had wised up to him or he had news of a dead relative and came home to claim his inheritance. Who knows. Whichever, his talent for parting people from cash will be sorely missed, but his mouldy clementines and silly hat, and 'unwashed wanker' odour definitely will not.
Oxford is such a place as could reasonably accommodate dozens of such local fruitcakes, shufflers and mumblers, but one is enough for now. In the next installment, I'll introduce you to 'The Leaper', a suburban favourite for, oooh, years....

Ta-ta, and apologies for length!
(doctor sideburns, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:51, Reply)