RP: this was me 8 months back; now back in work with a healthy bumhole a thank yaw....
I was in work one day and discovered bleeding from me bum, so I went to the docs. After a quick examination (which did include the line "At least buy me a meal first doc...) I was to discover I was infected.

I had an op last March which was to remove a Pilonial Sinus (I think that's how it's spelled). Not a nice thing and surprisingly common; basically an ingrowing hair forms a sinus which leads to infection within certain areas of the body which tends to be hairy.

In the case of myself, mine was found to be slap-bang in the middle of my arse cleft, just below the Chocolate Mineshaft.

Now there are medications which can be taken to remove the infection, but these do not cure the root cause which is the hair itself, so the main method of resolution is to surgically cut and remove the entire sinus from the body. Meaning that since the op I've got a new wound in my ass, next to my rusty bullet wound. Which randomly hurts like fuck.

I've been on tablets of varying strengths and the wound has been infected roughly 6-7 times (the first of which was pronounced Strep-toe-cockia, I couldn't make it up, typical, I get a new hole up my ass and within a week I had a cock in it). Also as part of the recovery process every single day I have to visit the local doctors and have the wound-packing changed (except for weekends, a nurse calls round to the house to do it). This involves removing the existing outside dressing and some cotton thread which is stuffed into the wound, and replacing with fresh ones.

So every single day for about 4 months my arse has been seen and visited by many a Swansea nurse, so much so that I have suggested I stick it on Google Maps as a popular tourist spot. I have to drop my kegs and get a rear-bikini wax from the removal of such dressing while some nurse uses a cotton bud to ram cotton wool up my 2nd hole, it's a beautiful thing. It does have it's benefits, some of them nurses are quite fit :D

As you can imagine, small-talk during the anal exchange can be a bit weird. I have been known to have said so far;
"Do you come here often?"
"Bet you wish you was a midwife now."
"..and that's why women are shit drivers..." if she happens to hurt me while prodding it in
"Fucking hell, I'm not Sooty!" after a particularly painful adjustment by one.
Another had difficulty placing the wool packing in and said "The problem here is that your arse is too firm" which was met with the reply "Errrrr, thanks?"

Near the end of the treatment I had to visit the hospital for a checkup by one of the operating consultants, who after another partial moony moment informed me that there was hair growing around the wound but falling into it, so he announced he would shave me there and then. A nurse was called in, who had to palm-push my cheeks as far apart as possible while this doctor dangled a razor-blade very closely to my manhole. I made a quick funny as per; "Do I bite the pillow now doc?" to which the nurse started laffing a bit. This unfortunately led to another nurse in the adjoining room leaning her head through a door to see what was happening, to be greeted with me belly-down with my ass sticking up in the air mounted upon nurse-palm-scaffolding while an African doc was ramming a razor up my ass. I tilted my head towards her to make eye-contact and coughed "Excuse me..." before she sniggered "Sorry" and closed the door.

Apols for length of repost, but my ass is now made for tandems.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 17:05, 4 replies)

Jesus...
I never realised having a hairy arse came with dangers. Why isn't this on billboards???

Glad to hear your arse is in proper working order now, mate.
( SpankyHanky, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 17:08, closed)

Tis again a sacred place
One of untold joy and respect to be had, with me arse.

Might want to rephrase that
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 17:14, closed)

*clicks in sympathy*
I had a random lump on my arse just above the sheriff's badge, went to see the doc, woke up three days later in a hospital bed with two holes in my bum, one of which took six months of packing with gauze to heal. The scar still twinges now :(
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 17:35, closed)

I had this op
last October, just got an appointment through for my check-up. Which I can't go to as I've slipped a disc. Getting old sucks
(danceswithferrets is leaking sanity, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 19:32, closed)

Ah yes, good old Trucker's Arse.
I have one too but I've not gone through with the operation as yet. Mind you I found out that in very rare cases it can develop into a fistula-in-ano if nothing is done about it (look it up on wikipedia). This revelation has made me slightly paranoid...
(Angio can smell your fear just by looking at you., Fri 12 Mar 2010, 13:22, closed)