my friend evie
was a "drunken barber" in one of the inns. only the sheep were a lower caste. evie only had one line, but she practised it to death, slurring away in front of the mirror in hope of being promoted to a shepherd or even an angel. finally we were ready to start rehearsing the whole thing.

the curtain rose on the shabby inn. a rowdy drunken customer weaved his way in front of joseph, seemingly taking exception to his beard. finally, he turned to face the audience, waving his hands in the air, and proclaimed furiously:

"oh, i'll touch him alright. OPENS HIS SCISSORS! "

many years later, we were both in a christmas play in sixth form. (well, when your only extracurricular activities are drinking and snogging boys, you have to do something to put on your ucas form!) evie was really nervous because she had to sing a verse, and we were doing a snippet of shakespeare. so nobody has any idea what the tune should be, and evie had been told to make something up.

evie will never be on pop idol, but she doesn't sound like a drowning cat either, so the singing wasn't too bad. until she got to the end. and blithely carolled: "and exit stage left..."

she was also unfortunate enough to have to read that last scene in "othello", when someone looks at all the carnage and the bodies, and says mournfully, "oh bloody period."

you can imagine how horribly wrong THAT went.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 28 Mar 2009, 10:53, Reply)