Undercover carrot has just reminded me…
I, as I’m sure you’ll be aware by now, have enough trouble staying vertical when sober. When drunk, it’s rather like strapping roller skates to a new born foal and sending them onto a floor covered in ball bearings…

To cut a long and tedious story for once down to a manageable size, whilst out for my 21st birthday in a nightclub, I took a teeny tiny tumble down the stairs. I was wearing a short skirt and a pair of fairly sturdy knickers (not daft, me). As I hauled myself up, trying to collect what was left of my dignity off the floor, I caught said knickers in a nail which was sticking up off the staircase. There was a ripping of fabric…

I ran to the toilets to inspect the damage to both my undies and my arse. It was at this point that while trying to explain what had happened to my (by now laughing hysterically) friend, I uttered the words…

“I just fell down the stairs and now I have a huge gash in my pants…”

Suffice to say, that particular comment is haunting me even now, almost 15 years later.
(Rakky (forgot her password) Jan Moir is a stupid bitch, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 15:20, closed)

May I be the first to say
Fnar fnar,
Snigger snigger,
Fnar fnar...
(The Supreme Crow with all the charm of a musk ox, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 15:27, closed)

You made me guffaw loudly at work
well done
( Evilscary off lurking for a bit, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 15:34, closed)

Sorry Rak, there is only one way to put this...
...BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

*clickety*
(Tiktock , like a harlequin baby in a Honda Accord, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 15:40, closed)

I'm glad
I can remind you of your gash.

(sniggers)
( Undercovercarrot realises the true evil of manflu, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 15:45, closed)

Ha!
That's great! Well done! Absolutely gash-tastic!
(SpankyHanky, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 15:48, closed)

I hope the festivities...
...weren't unduly affected by excessive gash worries.

Sorry.
(PJM Does not love Liberace, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 15:51, closed)

*click*
Brilliant - just brilliant :)
( snee held his breath since, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 15:57, closed)

*click*
winner.
(bazmorningstar Meal Of Yule On Time. Xmas dinner must be punctual, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 17:01, closed)

I tried to hold back, but
This story made me titter!

Have a click.
(purplegod counting down for Christmas!, Wed 8 Apr 2009, 22:20, closed)

Haha
Magic!
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 0:34, closed)

bwahaha
f'nar f'nar. click.
(stickitinmyear wanted "anything but a one" on:, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 21:01, closed)

Top, top, top!
*click*
( Noely Noel is approximately 1.073 billion seconds old, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 7:50, closed)