Knees
For such a relatively small part of the body, the variety of different pains it can receive is staggering. The front of the kneecap, when knocked square-on with a particularly pointy corner of a coffee table is a completely different sense of pain to when you pull a door open and it catches the side of the kneecap.

These sort of pains usually cause you to produce a "eeuurrgghhh!!" noise.

Then there's the slightly fleshy bit below the knee. The bit that your doctor twats with a small hammer which gives you the opportunity to hoof a nearby nurse up the arse for comic effect. However, the humour is lost when you kneel on a drawing pin and it sinks into this part of your knee.

Then there's the bit just above your kneecap. Knocking the top-edge of it on something hard is a whole different pain. The sort that makes you feel sick. This is most noticeably when standing up. Try it. Stand up with straight legs but don't lock your knees. You'll find that the thigh muscle stops and then the kneecap sticks out like a step. If you're carrying a 6-panel door and you feel it slipping, try not to catch it against your thighs. It WILL slip down and land on this ad-hoc step that is your kneecap. You WILL go "Eeeuurgghh" and the door will then slip down and land on your toes.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 3 Aug 2010, 1:14, Reply)