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This is a question Out of my depth

As a schoolkid, I signed up for a public speaking contest purely as a ruse to meet girls. It haunts me still: in front of 300 people, I started to speak, dried up, stood there for what felt like half an hour staring at the floor and then slowly walked back to my seat. Oh, and the girl I liked laughed.

Have you ever been utterly, completely, devastatingly out of your depth?

(, Thu 14 Oct 2004, 15:07)
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Are you an honest bidder?
This is a bit of a long 'un, so I'll try and judo chop straight to it.
Three teenage lads out for a day of nonsense in London. Years ago down Oxford Street you used to find open shop fronts were some hookie macmurphy with a microphone was selling all manner of electrical finery for knock down prices. The shop would fill up and keen bargain hunters who had to bid for some random gizmo. People were walking away with gameboys, stereos and the like for twenty notes. The whole thing was a fiddle but we were young and deeply ignorant of the wickedness of capitalism.
Naturally, we were drawn in by the smell of a bargain. Bidding began for a top of the range camera, easily two hundred quids worth, yours for fifty sunshine. People put up their hands, the sales fella asks, 'Are you an honest bidder?', 'Yes' replies the bidder. 'Put your money away, give him a camera', bosh. My eyes glazed over and suddenly everyone in the room faded away, suddenly my hand was in the air, the banter was exchanged and suddenly I had a brand new camera that I couldn't possibly afford in front of me. Then the money began to be collected. The fog cleared. My friends had edged nervously away, and suddenly the open shop front was closed and and big fellas with blunt instruments were on the doors. The world fell out of my arse. Mumbling an excuse that I was a wee bit short of funds and was just popping out to the cash point, I left the camera, circumvented the door monkeys and ran like a dog botherer caught by the park keeper.

Thankfully, now I'm a communist and I've never looked back.
(, Fri 15 Oct 2004, 10:25, closed)

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