Youre not a real aeroplane.
After a good old fashioned giggy night at the Adelphi club my chums and I decided to mosy off around the town and go for a couple of drinks. If I'd have known what was going to happen, I would have gone home then. Anyway, we stop off at one decidedly manky looking pub for a pint or so. My friend (lets call him Tim)offers to buy me a pint if I can drink a pint of vodka+coke in under 5 minutes. Naturally, I accept and down it in about 3 feeling like quite the little animal. I could have just said 'ok, sod off im pissed' but i instead insisted on continuing in my drinky blury quest. 'PISH POSH', you might think, '2 pints of alcohol..PEH!'. But consider I hadnt eaten all day, nor do I drink very often. To me this is like coccaine. However, barely feeling the effects at this point, I enjoy my FREE pint. He's mildly impressed and offers to buy me another if I can take 4 shots of tequilla as well. Everything after this point was a blur of socks and money. Long story short, I woke up on my doorstep the next morning shoeless in a puddle of vomit and blood and with sharp pains in my my foot and notice theres a big cock off shard of glass wedged in my heel. I don't remember any of this but APPARANTLY i'd given my shoes to a homeless man and then stood on a broken bottle. I then insisted that i wasn't carried and instead dragged myself home on an unfolded pizza box and laid in my semi-innebriated state against my door. The only thing worse than having an evil hangover is suffering one while waiting 3 hours in A+E on a tiny plastic/rubber foam chair with a dozen 8 year old cunts bombing around pretending to be aeroplanes.
(iheartyourmum, Fri 15 Oct 2004, 17:53, Reply)