The Tour Guide
Just before I set off for Africa my little sis got married to a septic. His extended family came over to the UK for the wedding, and the first I knew about this was when I stepped off my plane and she slapped the key to a 16 seater bus in my hand and told to me to entertain them. I’d never played at tour guide before but it turned out to be pretty easy. It started when I got lost in Central London and one of them asked me what some old house was. I didn’t have a clue, but rather than disappoint them I told them it was where the Governor of the Bank of England lived. And that is when it dawned on me – they didn’t have a clue what they were seeing and I could pretty much tell them what I wanted. For the next few days I invented a fantasy city which we shall call strongp’s London. It was a magical place rich in history and adventure, in which every square had a story, every alleyway a murderer. Then I took my coach party of gullible Americans halfway across England in search of fabulous castles once populated by King Arthur, and the occasional Orc. I even told them the story of how when it was being built in London Eye had come off its spindle and rolled a clear mile along the Thames before coming to a stop on the silt of the Thames.

And I’d gave got way with it too if the groom hadn’t shopped me in his speech
(strongp, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 19:19, Reply)