Jolly hockey sticks
We had hockey at our Winter Sports Days, a strange and unnecessarily cruel event. And despite being quite good at hockey compared to most sports, the PE teacher (or enforcer) still hated my guts. The fact that he had played for England at this wonderful sport helped his arrogance along a treat. So in this competition, in which he'd put me in the first team, he decided to berate me continuously from the touchline as we were playing. We were winning! And as the final 5 minutes came round, cruising to a 13-1 victory, I was still on the receiving end of 'You shit bastard!' in front of parents and the whole school. Understandably, I raised my hockey stick and smashed it into a nearby teammates knee, shattering his leg in two places. After the unfortunate victim had been taken to hospital, the sergeant major came over, not to bollock me, but to tell me that 'We all get a little angry from time to time.' Useful.
(Waspard has your wank bank account details, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 18:20, Reply)