"This is how to take a drop goal lads"...
...said Mr Bastard, our PE teacher in a lesson involving the big posh sod's game of rugby, standing a mere 10 yards from the uprights (he wasn't really a bastard, he was OK, but just thought I'd keep in with people's recollections of PE teachers this week).

He proceeded to hold the weird egg-shaped object (ie. the ball) out in front of him, dipped at 45° angle to the ground, and swung his right boot back behind him. As he did, he released the ovoid item from his grasp. As it fell, it breached the sodden ground and bounced up, barely and inch or three from the deck as his dirty great big clod-hopper came through on the arc, connected,* and propelled the ball up towards the uprights.

It took a somewhat flat trajectory and hit the crossbar on the underside rim, causing the giant piece of hen's arse produce to ricochet back towards him at a rate of knots and smack him bang in the face.

Well, we didn't know what to do. So we decided the best course of action would be to collapse in paroxysms of laughter (I mean proper 100 sit-ups belly laughs; I had a washboard stomach after that episode). He then proceeded to make us all do two laps of the entire field - but it was worth it.

*check out the Oxford comma
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Fri 20 Nov 2009, 8:44, 4 replies)

Oxford commas irritate me out of proportion.
Emap subeditors don't like them either.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 8:55, closed)

Vampire Weekend...
...didn't seem to like them either
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Fri 20 Nov 2009, 16:45, closed)

Was his real name Rick O'Shea?

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 20 Nov 2009, 9:42, closed)

I've just realised
that I use a fair bit of these so called Oxford commas.. Plus they are an Americanism. Shit! NO MORE!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 9:47, closed)