I had an accidental bit-part in a cinematic documentary.
I didn't know I was going to be in it, and it made me out to be a bit of a useless wanker – so I can at least vouch for its accuracy – but I thought at least it would give me the chance to see myself on the big screen. BIG MISTAKE. What I didn't realise at the time is that I am going bald and quite clearly had not been to the dentist in 20 years. I've since addressed both of those issues (although I'm still a useless wanker) but trust me, a reverently silent cinema isn't quite the place you want to a shriek-inducing personal revelation like that.

EDIT: I'm also still bald and have a mouth like 8 Ace's garden fence.
(electricteeth, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 14:55, Reply)