Co-op again
A dreadful old woman used to come in at the same time everyday, reeking to high heaven of piss, with a great big tidemark on her tights.

Now we used to run off and hide until she had gone. The last one left on the shop floor had to serve her and inhale her ammonia ridden scent, while we all watched on the camera, cackling and pointing like the bitches we were.

This one day, she had filled her basket with a few groceries, and had set it down on the floor. The majority of the staff had smelt her before they had seen her, and had fucked off to hide. Not me. Oh no.

As I walk into the aisle, there she is beckoning me. Fuck it, nowhere to hide.

"Excuse me dear, could you pass me a tin of peas"

Trying not to bring up my lunch,and swathing my head in as much of my shirt as I can, I reach up to grab her a tin of veg when I can hear water running. What the fuck?

Turning round, I can quite clearly see, that not only is she having a wazz, but the dirty old cunt is pissing directly into her basket of shopping.

It was like a sodding elephant, a jet of hot piss soaking her Daily Mirror and splashing up the tins of beans.

Well i did what any trainee manager would do, I fucking legged it, flinging the tin of peas in her general direction, hoping it would knock the filthy old soak out.

Luckily for me, I was saved by Sylvia wielding a mop, who proceeded to successfully flick piss over everything in the first aisle, whilst telling the old witch that she should have asked to use the bog.

She squelched out of the shop without so much as a sorry.
( Scary Mary The D'oh Fairy, Thu 22 Mar 2007, 23:15, Reply)