A girl that smells.
Ok, so for the past couple of years, I've been flat and house mate to a girl who has no sense of smell, so I feel pretty bad posting this, but it'd my story and I've been polite enough to listen to you all so here it comes.

At the end of first year, I wasn't to aware of her problems, I knew the ability to smell things wasn't going on her CV, but it hadn’t been a problem at that point. I'd get the odd horror story from her room mate about poos that smelled like death, and were not countered with air freshener as the pooer didn't remember it was necessary. Bearing in mind she fed her self at tesco for less then £10 a week, its fair to say her diet wasn't the best, but didn't affect me.

What does affect her, is alcohol. On her last night in our halls of residence, she decided that drinking too much was a good idea, in an attempt to bed my flat mate. As her advances were pushed aside, she turned her attention to me. Now she's a pretty girl, mental at times, but not a bad looker. In her drunken state, she offers herself to me for a drink, I refuse on the moral grounds that it's almost like date rape, and seeing as I didn't even pay for the results, it would be like stealing too.
Later on she attempts to kiss me, as her lips touch mine, I feel two things in quick succession. The first being surprise the second? Nausea. My oh my she had bad BO that night, worse then I'd get whilst painting sets at an un-air-conditioned photography studio, in a full boiler suit during the summer heat wave. I shit you not, she was worse then the smell of a long hard day of man graft followed by a metro ride home. They say love is blind, but it isn't anosemic. I had to fight off 3 of her advances that night, before she passed out on my bed after using my toilet.

Then I had to actually move in close and comfort her as she came to terms with the fact she had slept through the rest of the night and wasn't going to see my flat mate for months. I should get a bloody medal for that, turning down free sex, keeping my self from fainting from smell 3 times and then actually braving the smell again for a final and prolonged exposure in the name of friendship.

Where’s my parade? Where’s my statue? Princess Diana didn't take a face full of AIDS when she helped the suffers, in my eyes I did far more then her.
(Mong goose, Mon 26 Mar 2007, 13:29, Reply)