Dead easy...
When I was but a lad on the cusp of adultery and it became obvious to all that I was finally starting to take an interest in girls, the job of sex lecture was left to my thoroughly brilliant father and his best mate, my Uncle Tony.
Both of them had clearly led interesting lives because the advice I got was:
Safe sex is using a false name
Excelpet fleacare gets rid of crabs just as fast as an embarrassing trip to the doctor
and best of all
If you need to break up with a girl, just stop seeing her. Avoid her calls, avoid her and eventually she'll get the message.
"Because girls," Uncle Tony informs me wisely while handing a 13 year old a beer, "are not like genital warts. They actually will go away if you ignore them."
( difficultchild, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 8:13, 5 replies)

um
The cusp of adultery?
Is that when you're just getting ready to cheat on your wife or something?
( ascorbate, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 9:02, closed)

"Because girls," Uncle Tony informs me wisely while handing a 13 year old a beer, "are not like genital warts. They actually will go away if you ignore them."
Possibly the best piece of advice to hear as a 13 year old.
(Kia Ora it's 2 orangey 4 crows, it's just 4 me and my dog, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 9:14, closed)

good old
unkle Tony!
(misshotlips, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 10:34, closed)

Those are all great words of wisdom

I got my talk from my mother. I believe it ran more along the lines of 2 sentences:
"Just be a lesbian, dear. It makes life easier."
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Fri 6 Jun 2008, 14:56, closed)

Top Geezer
Step forward superdad !!

Buy that man a pint now you're old enough !
(Betty Boothroyd's Love custard Tourettes at the KOB, Fri 6 Jun 2008, 15:22, closed)