Pop Stars
Easy pickings I know, but I've been thoughtful enough to determine exactly what purpose they are capable of serving. To my mind, the modern Pop Star should serve one of three purposes.

Actually be talented enough to be a professional singer
This is obviously an increasingly rare qualification for today's Radio 1 fodder to hold

Be a bloody fantastic dancer, to the point where the music can be ignored
This is what mute buttons were made for. Examples, dependent on gender preference, include Usher, Ciara, Justin Timberlake and Shakira (although the latter actually can sing)

Be so blisteringly atttractive that nothing else matters
I give you Pixie Lott.

Even with the generosity here exhibited, there really is absolutely no excuse for the continued indulgence of that useless cunt Robbie Williams. Click "I like this" if you think the above should be adopted as British Law, entitling anyone with sufficient hatred and motivation to legally hunt and kill any pop star who demonstrably serves no purpose. This would effectively lead to the closure of Radio 1 and make The X Factor into a sanitised version of The Running Man as the winner is sure to die horribly shortly after Christmas. Who wouldn't want to live in a world where crap music is punished by vigilante justice?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:38, 10 replies)

I reckon only the first one should count.
Either be good at singing and/or playing a musical instrument, or be good at writing songs for other people to sing/play. If you can't do either, what the fuck are you doing in the world of music?
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:47, closed)

I'm taking that as a yes
We can discuss terms of the vigilatism once the legislation's been passed
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:48, closed)

Absofuckinglutley!!!!
I would like to propose you for the post of Culture minister in my new government sir.
(Obi wanker nobi Its not a bug, its an unexpected feature, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:48, closed)

In the words of the great Homer J. Simpson
I reluctantly accept this highly-paid government job
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:54, closed)

I'm with you!
Providing Posh spice is pegged at number 1 on the hitlist.

Makes Becks look positively underpaid in the "pounds per unit talent" stakes.
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Thu 27 May 2010, 17:40, closed)