Here goes....
I used to live in Dundee (was going to uni at the time) and as a result had to get a train down the country to visit home. This was one of these GNER dealies that ran from Aberdeen to London.

I'm sat in first class (I learned long ago that it was by and far the best way to do this trip, and it's cheap if you book far enough in advance) so was blissfully separated from the usual pissed up cunts that populate the other carriages.

Everything is going smoothly, it looks like I'll be back home with enough time to hit the pub with my brother for a couple of pints when I get in. Then the gods of public transport decide that my satisfaction constituted blasphemy and set about ruining my journey.

The carriage goes dark red, followed by a sudden screeching of the brakes and the train comes to a stop. WTF?

Turns out some entrepreneurial soul decided that the best way to be remembered was to jump out in front of a speeding train and redecorate the first three compartments in 'hint of fucktard'.

It's amazing just how much of a person can be spread across a surface.

The train pulled in to a service depot a little way down the line (didn't want to pull into a station sporting the new paint scheme), a second train was called in to pick up all the passengers and carry on the journey down south. Four hour delay, and not just for us but every train on that line was delayed as well.

Managed to arrive at my destination five hours late (due to the disruptions caused by effectively 'losing' one of the trains), get picked up by my brother, relate my tale on the way home, brother slams on his brakes and stares at me like I've just killed a puppy with my bare hands.

Why the look, I hear you all ask?

The fact that instead of being traumatised by the sudden and (in retrospect) up-close and personal encounter with a suicide victim, I was pissed off.

No shame in it whatsoever, not even as I type this.

This guy wanted everyone to remember that he was unhappy with his life and so he decided to inconvenience myself and a great many other people (was around Christmas time so there were a lot of students returning along this line) by throwing himself in front of a speeding train. He delayed my journey, and the journeys of a few thousand people, simply because he had issues.

Fuck off I should care.

*breathes before the vein on the side of my head pops*

So there you have it, my trauma came when I realised that I had been present at the death of another human being, had even seen the results spray up across the window I was looking out of, and only being able to feel a sense of complete anger at them for inconveniencing me. I never even bothered to learn the cunts name, I felt that he would have won some sort of victory if I were to commit his name to my memory.

Length? He was spread along a decent amount of track like a human jam sandwich.

Postscript: I have issues with death as is anyway, feel a total disconnection to it in any shape or form, from total strangers to lovers to friends and family there is no difference in my attitude to loss (people always think it is because I'm 'being strong', truth is I just can't seem to feel anything and don't know what to do but stand around), so this may have affected my attitude to this persons demise somewhat. Still a cunt for doing what he did.
(UncleChuckles "Cthulhu fhtagn", Thu 29 May 2008, 16:24, 6 replies)

I kinda agree with you on this
it's still sad but if you really do want to end it all why do you have to make everyone else's lives a misery as well, especially the poor driver and the people who've got to pick up all the little bits of goo that used to be you.

Oh and have a click for decroated in 'hint of fucktard'
( pixel_fucker is going to need a bigger brush, Thu 29 May 2008, 17:13, closed)

Issues?
Of course you're disconnected from death. We're all disconnected from death to different degrees. The only person on that train truly connected with death was ON the train - on the outside, that is. We could not function if we walked around with death on our minds. See "Bringing Out The Dead", for example (Nicholas Cage as a paramedic in New York).
( bnt what, me worry?, Thu 29 May 2008, 20:11, closed)

Yeah I don't think it's as uncommon as you might be made to feel...
Growing up, my whole family had plenty of horror stories to tell us kiddies. Being in a family of soldiers/police officers/firefighters/nurses meant Sunday dinners with "we had this one guy this week..." and "Next thing I know, I'm in a tent with my chest feeling like it's literally on fire."
I personally can't stand trauma-fakers; you know those people who stand around and say, "gosh how sad, I won't be the same, etc., etc.," Bleah. It's one thing to be traumatized by what you've seen and done, and another entirely to get over it quickly. I don't handle death at all - I act the same way you do about it. To me, once someone is dead, there's nothing more you can do for them. All suicides are selfish, anyway.
(aeon chicken Like the Millenium Falcon, only slower and noisier, Fri 30 May 2008, 0:26, closed)

Wow
I'm just glad that I'm not the only one who seems to be unaffected by death.

And you're right, they were a selfish bastard for jumping in front of the train.

Git.

(apparently, even three years on, I still hate the person)
(UncleChuckles "Cthulhu fhtagn", Fri 30 May 2008, 9:41, closed)

I don't think it's unreasonable at all
to be annoyed about it. I would have been too..

I was stood on a station platform once and watched unable to do anything as a mother ran infront of a train holding her two year old son by the hand and carrying her baby daughter. Apparently the father drew up to the station in a car just in time to see his family die. I think the little boy survived... But still. What kind of a bitch would kill her babies AND inconvenience a shed load of people just to commit suicide. I remember being angry about it too rather than feeling sorry for her.

If she'd done it in some quiet, unmessy, not so traumatising to find way. Just herself, then I would have had great pity for her. But that way? No way hose.
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 30 May 2008, 12:37, closed)

Good point
I think I read a similar point of view to yours on either b3ta or another site recently -first let me add that I too appreciate that there may be insurmountable problems in life and that suicide may very well be the only option but in front of a train is not the way to go. The girl who wrote the piece had worked for the railways and she pointed out that a significant proportion drivers who are involved in these events have nervous breakdowns, never drive again, despite what certain British comedies would have you believe, do not get large pay-outs in compensation. Worse too, some also are so haunted by guilt that they commit suicide themselves. That's not to mention the poor guys who have to clean up the aftermath too.
I've been on a train that someone threw themselves in front of and a five year old girl in the carriage looked out and said in horror "the train is bleeding". Its not right to impact your problems on innocents.
(resurrection_mary cannibal_ferox, Sat 31 May 2008, 0:19, closed)