Northworst airlines
A few years ago I was on a work trip to Detroit. Outbound everything went fine: Edinburgh-Heathrow-Detroit with BA. No problem (save for the fact that the Alamo hire car shuttle doesn't stop at the BA terminal and I stood there like a prat for 40 minutes before getting a lift in a hotel bus to the main terminal).

However on checking in to come home again at the end of the week, I went to the desk and the cheery lady said, "Oh sorry, Dr K2k6, didn't you know? Your flight's been cancelled".

"Ah", said I, "So when's the next one?"

"Tomorrow".

Bugger. If you've ever been in Detroit you'll know it's not the sort of place you want to spend an extra day in, so I inquired about the availability of alternatives.

The woman tried loads of airlines, but although she could get me over to Europe, the final leg to 'Edinboro' was proving to be a problem as most flights were fully booked.

But eventually she got me on a Northwest flight to Gatwick. Sorted, or so I thought.

So I had 5 hours to kill, but at least I was in the fancy new NWA terminal, rather than the concrete monstrosity that is the BA terminal (which only served that one daily flight, it appeared).

American friends of mine refer to NWA as NorthWorst Airlines, and with good reason. The aircraft was a very old MD80.

To make things worse, I was in the middle seat of the 5 across the centre section. Between two young girls (and I mean annoying kids here, not nubile young ladies).

Shortly after takeoff, the lights and entertainment system in our section of the cabin failed. Every so often they'd flicker, but virtually all the way over the Atlantic we were in total darkness with no entertainment.

About an hour before reaching Gatwick, water started dripping alarmingly from an overhead panel. Unlike me, the crew didn't seem too perturbed by this, and so just placed a bucket below it to catch the drips.

And there was a shortage of food for some reason, so I didn't get my full breakfast.

Anyway, I disembarked (not 'deplaned', as I was back in the UK) at Gatwick, made my way to the domestic terminal and attempted to check in with BA for my flight to Edinburgh. Which was of course from Heathrow...

To cap this, NWA had taken all of my tickets from me at Detroit and I had no proof I was even booked on the Heathrow flight. Fortunately BA were efficient enough that I got a flight home OK, but I resolved never to fly NWA again.

Don't do it, people.

Standard excess length and missing humour-based disclaimers apply.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 30 May 2008, 9:27, Reply)