Tommy Tank
In the same pub I used to play pool in, there was a regular nicknamed Tommy Tank - so called because his name was Tommy and he was built like NASA's Vehicle Assembly Building on steroids. Towering over everyone else in the pub, he was an imposing combination of toned muscle and carefully nurtured flab. Tommy Tank had the reputation of a nice, very pissed gentle giant.

It was Friday night a few years back. The pool bar was full of kids so we'd opted to sit in the front with the regulars. Tommy Tank had been in there all afternoon, as was his calling on a Friday, and was twatted, but still able to play a good game of Brag with the ten or so people sat around our table.

Tommy Tank necked his umpteenth pint of snakebite and announced 'Ahm aff tuh drain duh shnake!' The sea of bodies parted to let this man-mountain weave to the gents.

As he came back, a murmur made its way as a wave behind him. We looked up from our cards to see Tommy Tank covered - and I mean covered - in piss, and stinking like only a man drenched in snakebite piss can stink.

This turned out to be a genuine Friday Night Mystery. The landlord politely ushered Tommy Tank out of the pub and gave him a lift home. The landlady checked the gents and not a drop was spilt. We never found out how he'd come to be in that condition and, dear reader, I doubt anyone'll ever have the guts to ask.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 10:16, 4 replies)

*click*
Now that is absolutely fucking fantastic! Cheers for the laugh, mate - its Wednesday... and I dont do Wednesdays...
( SpankyHanky, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 10:23, closed)

You're welcome.
No chance of me getting onto Best three fucking times in a week like you did tho :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 10:33, closed)

Just lucky with the subjects
mate... And weird shit has happened to me my entire life... Im suprised Im not a nervous fucking wreck!
( SpankyHanky, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 10:35, closed)

Flat on back..
a veritable piss fountain I shouldn't wonder!

Gave himself a golden shower!
(AndyC4m Eject Eject [><], Wed 11 Feb 2009, 16:02, closed)