No stylish ones yet
Since January of this year, I have been killing time between PhD and the real world (a job in the US which I start in 7 weeks!) by working a number of mindless drudgery-type jobs. These have included:
Tutoring inept students so that they don't fail immediately.
Invigilating exams for said students.
Updating a course for overseas students.
Running my college bar.
Catering at graduation events.
Data entry for the NHS
Receptionist for the NHS
PA to a PA to the head of some spiffy advertising company in central London.

Of these, I haven't actually quit many in any kind of style, as I knew they were temporary. However, I did cock up on 3 of them to such an extent that I will NEVER be welcomed back.

Invigilating exams - I fell asleep and fell off my chair at the back of the room. I'm not allowed to invigilate any more.

PA job - I paid in £6000 of cheques into the wrong bank (was meant to be HSBC, I went to Nationwide by mistake). This was after I had spent the morning cutting crusts off sandwiches for bigwig execs, so I wasn't too fussed. They were, so I am not welcome in the company again.

But best of all was working for the NHS. I had to enter details of people into their database, which was ok the first 10 times, but after 300 forms, I was losing the will to live. Especially once I was told that I had to ask permission of my fat lazy boss if i wanted to use the toilet. And the internet was banned, b3ta was blocked on the 2 occasions i managed to log in, and i wasn't allowed to listen to my walkman whilst i worked. So I started making slight changes to the database. It was only personal details, so a few people became transgender, a bloke called Mohammed* became Jewish, an elderly blind woman became an astronaut, and my personal favourite was entering 'lunatic' into the job field when one bloke had said that his next of kin was his sister and his wife - who happened to be the same woman... And on my last day, i edited the same person's details for the whole day, smeared Vaseline over the keyboard, and left. That showed 'em.

I'm looking forward to quitting the bar job soon, so i'll be reading these pages very thoroughly over the next week!


Apologies for length, but it's been 6 months...

*name changed to protect the innocent
( ascorbate, Thu 22 May 2008, 14:53, 5 replies)

Maybe the Jewish one wasn't a good idea
They'll get the guy to the Operating Theatre and notice he's not cirumcised - so can't be Jewish - and end up looking for an imaginary Jew somewhere.

Maybe.
( rjmrjm, Thu 22 May 2008, 15:08, closed)

um
it was a specialist hospital which only did surgery on one part of the body, which wouldn't be affected by religion :-)
( ascorbate, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:36, closed)

I'm now worried that I may have been registered as a lunatic...
Well, I'm not married, but my girlfriend and sister both have the same first name. Not that there's any reason for the NHS to know that... sorry, it's been a long day.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 May 2008, 16:58, closed)

Lucky religion fact
...Muslims are circumcised too...
(stalinism, Fri 23 May 2008, 17:28, closed)

I've worked in a theatre suite ...
... and the last thing you'll be looking at identifing a patient is his cock, given that you've checked the wristband, asked him his name, and what procedure he's having (and checked the drawing on $part_of_body against the plans in his notes, where applicable).
(nobbyd is wanking furiously to industrial grade porn on, Sun 25 May 2008, 18:41, closed)