Clacton girl
About a month after meeting a girl at a party who I thought was quite cute, I started chatting to her via the shit magic of Facebook. She had a boyfriend, but was allegedly a bit unhappy and giving the impression that she was going to dump him, she came to mine one day to hang out. She seemed okay, if a little bit annoying and weird. She came back later that week, having tried to dump him but failing due to guilt-tripping. We were watching a movie, we ended up kissing and immediately she started moaning and reached for my cock.

"Brilliant," some might think, but not I, and I told her that it probably wasn't cool to have done that. She acted all sad and sorry for offending me, then did the same thing a couple of days later (minus the boyfriend, after dicking about over it for the couple of weeks). I was more receptive this time.

What followed should have been the first sign that something was massively wrong with this girl. She continually tried to pressure me into having sex with her (role-reversal much?), would even start crying about it, shouting and getting upset multiple times a day because I wouldn't fuck her. Attempts to do so went wrong because I was stressed from the pressure (and blatantly not up for it) which only led to more tears as she decided that I clearly wasn't attracted to her - not because she was crying every night she stayed at mine because, unlike her, I wasn't ready to shag her after a dozen or so days.

This continued further into the brief relationship. I did eventually put out so the guilt-tripping stopped, but she was determined I wasn't attracted to her. Within a month or two of the relationship the already curvy girl packed on over 2 stone, and despite being shorter than me and me working out so having a few guns, she weighed more than I did. We tried a 69 once; I lost it and she freaked out crying again, thought her pussy stunk of something fucked up (it did smell pretty bad, utterly stunk my room out, I left the door open a lot). It was also because I had her fat, horrible arse in my face like two gargantuan airbags with the rancid smell of shitty broccoli emanating from the middle.

She'd asked me when we met how many people I'd slept with - I answered 2, and she was shocked, then said that she'd been with "9 or 10" people. She downgraded this to "7 or 8" talking about it another time. She would frequently mention her past sex life, which I didn't really enjoy. Finally I decided to clarify her past number of partners to which she broke down in tears and decided she was leaving my house and breaking up. Turns out she had, at the age of 18, bedded 20 fellas, the majority of which in the space of her 16th and 17th birthday. She'd never used a single condom during that time.

Once we watched the Alice in Wonderland movie. I wasn't fussed, but then I got really into it, helped along by the fact that I think Mia Wasikowska as Alice is fucking gorgeous. I looked her up online after as I'd never heard of her. Girlfriend jokingly asked if I thought she was attractive, to which I replied "She's alright." What followed was a two hour strop. "I don't want to know who you find attractive!" she screamed at me. Why ask, then?

She went through my phone multiple times, and this is where it ultimately worked out all lovely. Last year I met a wonderful girl who became my best friend. I was instantly smitten with her, fell in love with her and we've talked constantly since we first began talking to each other. Girlfriend had heard me refer to her a few times and suggested I was secretly in love with her, which I denied (a fabrication). She went through my texts to her one night when I was doing a poo, and tried to trick me into lying to her about plans we had later in the week. Girlfriend wanted me to meet her friends on Friday - I wanted to meet them Thursday and see best friend Friday. She asked if Friday was alright, I said I wanted to see best friend, she went nuts. Pitched a fit. Spent hours going through my texts.

As I found out later, she began stalking us both online on Twitter and stalking up the public part of best friend's Facebook. What she saw, she didn't like. Lots of messages to each other on Twitter, and with the US timestamps, what was a message posted in the day in the UK looked like it was sent to her at 3am when Girlfriend was over. She went nuts.

One morning she asked if I'd given flowers to someone since we'd been together. I said no (true). She asked if I ever phone best friend. I said I used to but hadn't in ages (also true). Girlfriend pitched one again and said that if I didn't let her go through my phone she couldn't trust me. As I realised later, she already had done again, and was asking highly specific questions on texts she'd already read. By the time I realised she had gone home, and caught out she folded and guilt-tripped me into not finishing with her after her previous promise not to stalk my phone anymore.

She hit me once. To be fair, I may have deserved it, as she fucked me off so I called her a whore. Then again, I call 'em like I see 'em. Should've tacked 'fat' onto the front just for shiggles.

In the end I dumped her and now I'm with best friend. She realised when I was with Girlfriend that she'd had feelings for me all along, and we got together about a month ago. She also realised she's in love with me too, and probably has been a long time. All's well that ends well.
(ratthingbazzterd, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 0:05, 1 reply)

Happy endings ftw :)

(Fleximus Rex briefly gave up lurking on, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 17:42, closed)