Sittingbourne (Kent)
It's not an average town, because if it were absolutely average, that itself would be something to remark upon about it. No, Sittingbourne is a dead end cul-de-sac of a town. If someone were to create the most banal prison planet in existence, it would resemble Sittingbourne.

Which makes it all the more remarkable that, having moved to Melbourne, Australia, I now have the pleasure of spending thousands of dollars to visit the damn place to see my family.

As my father and I walked down the road to the Wetherspoons for a cheapskate father and son bonding session, we were discussing what in the town had changed, and my dad said "Well, Sittingbourne hasn't changed much at all really."

We then turned round the corner into the high street to find two large men scrapping in the road, and shaaatin a' eech uvver.

"No dad, the town hasn't changed at all..."
(theremin put the lotion in the basket on, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:31, Reply)