Lampeter
My mothers side of the family, being Welsh, live scattered throughout South and West Wales. Some of them live in relatively nice little places.

Except my Aunt. She lives in Lampeter.

For the last 20 years or so I've been wondering whether my Aunt is crazy because she lives in Lampeter, or whether she lives in Lampeter because she's crazy. I still don't know. What I do know is that a few years ago we went down there for New Years. The idea was that we'd do the family stuff, my parents could get drunk and have the inevitable apocalyptic falling out with various aunts and uncles, whilst my cousins and I would slope off to the pub.

The cold biting wind on the seemingly endless walk to the "centre" of town carried the bleating of the approximately 400,000,000,000 sheep that live around the place. Entering town there appeared to be a large number of dead bodies scattered liberally around. It took a second or two to realise that these were in fact the residents who, presumably upon realising that they were spending another day in Lampeter, had decided to drink themselves wholly insensible. Gangs of drunks shouted and screamed at each other, others lay down on the ground, mired in their own vomit.

The pubs were unfriendly, and overcrowded. Everyone seemed to be trying to drink themselves to death. A girl asked me for 10p to call her parents whilst taking a piss outside in the smoking area. Everyone seemed to be incomprehensibly drunk. I asked one girl if this was because it was New Years, she told me that no, it was because it was Lampeter. It seemed that pretty much the only things to do in Lampeter if you were under, say, 50 were to look at the sheep, or drink heavily.

A friend of mine went to university there - he dropped out after a year because he hated the town so much. He often rants about the place when he's drunk. He wants to win the lottery, so that he can buy himself an F-16 and napalm the place, machine-gunning what ever remains of the town in a final paroxysm of rage.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Sat 31 Oct 2009, 13:57, 2 replies)

lampyland
i went to lampeter university, they have actully named the condition you get from living there, 'lampathy'.
I dont really know how i got through those years there. I actually cant eat sheep because of living there, they know when its abattoir time.
Lampeter really is a shit shit shit, hell on earth place and i for one would gladly like to see it shut down!
(KissyFace nooo not the bees!!!!!, Sat 31 Oct 2009, 18:10, closed)

I love Lampeter
I went to the uni too, and I loved it. I met Mrs Vaino through it, and we got married there - highlight was my newly-acquired sister-in-law telling the mayor of Lampeter he was an idiot in Tamil (he was Tamil, and its the only phrase she remembered from her sister's Tamil-speaking friend). But it really is just about the remotest place in the world and there is fuck-all to do there. It's a great place to live in for a little while but not for long.
(Vainomoinen went looking for the Sampo on, Sun 1 Nov 2009, 12:54, closed)