My landlord was a huge Canadian
who owned 2 records which he used to come home and play at unfesably loud volume, Slippery when Wet and the blues brothers soundtrack. I can still cope with the blues brothers, but slippery when wet drives me into spasms.

He was a member of the national champion Paintball team and used to like to be called MAD DOG!! every now and then he used to have the odd party, where there would be the two of us who lived in his house and who were of a rather hippyish persuasion, and him and all his mates who used to turn up dressed in camoflage gear as they all had a real desire to be squaddies, but wouldn't do it for real.

at one of his parties he built a bonfire in the back garden, the monster was constructed from offcuts of roof joists from the firm next to where he worked. The bonfire was about 5 feet tall and 6 feet across, and looked like a Myan pyramid. We all should have realised that something was about to get strange when he suggested that we should 'light the fuse' on his bonfire. all of the hippies took a few steps back at this, the paintballers stepped forwards, when the the fuse burned down, the kilo and a half of fertilizer and sugar he'd put in the centre of the fire caught! from the sides of the fire four foot long and six inch wide columns of flame shot out at a 45 degree angle giving off the sound of a jet engine, he'd considered packing it all down so it would be more impressive, but hadn't thus saving the lives of all the people standing round as it hadn't gone off like a bomb!

at another party he decided the barbercue wasn't hot enough so poured the same mixture on to get it going properly, over all the burgers, so we had to throw them all away.
(ceebs, Thu 25 Aug 2005, 21:24, Reply)