Remember those Van de Graaff generators in Science lessons?
You know, put your hand on the dome, rotate the handle, hair sticks up, much hilarity ensues.

I remember once our science teacher had all 30 of us join hands sitting on those high chairs with no fucking backrests along the whole length of the lab, feet off the chair so that only buttocks were joined to the plastic seat.

He then got the kid at one end of the line to touch the dome, another kid called john to turn the handle upon his instruction, and the kid at the other end of the line (me) poised to touch the radiator upon his instruction.

He then told us that John was to wind the handle, and I was to touch the radiator, and we would all get a little electric shock. He issued his instructions and walked slowly over to me and told john to start winding the handle. But he forgot one thing...

That John was a cunt.

John started to wind the handle like a motherfucker.

"OK John, stop there" Said teacher

John ignored him and increased the speed.

"John, stop there son"

John ignored him and carried on.

"JOHN. STOP WINDING NOW!"

John looked at him. Smiled, and carried on winding.

The teacher finally started to walk over to John briskly, then breaking out into a trot repeating "STOP WINDING THE HANDLE JOHN!"

John only stopped winding when the teacher was right over him. He then recieved a bollocking from the teacher and his classmates, and then I realised that everyone had turned thier heads to me.

Oh yes. The radiator.

I looked at them all. They all looked scared. I think a "fucking hell" was uttered. I looked at my finger, looked back at them all again and slowly put my finger near to the radiator.

I touched it, and BANG! a big shock* went through us all and everyone yelled, screamed and fell off thier shite fucking non-back supporting arse numbing chairs.

John recieved 2 dead arms and 2 dead legs that day, and was made to rub the blackboard after school with one of those wooden handled chalk rubbers (chalk clouds FTW!)

*May have been the anticipation of recieving a 'big' shock that made it big. It was probably fuck all.
(Spaff_Quaffer Wise fwom your gwave., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 15:27, 2 replies)

Nope
It probably was a big shock.

Also, when touching something with your hand, the spark actually jumps from under your fingernail (point of least resistance).

But most importantly, think about this for a moment. One hand on the generator, one hand touching the radiator. Electricity going up one arm and down the other.

Right. Across. Your. Heart.


They're not allowed to do that any more.
( MatJ LOOK, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 18:34, closed)

"high chairs with no fucking backrests"

You mean...a stool?
(Musuko, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 19:09, closed)