Bicycle related buffoonery
I was attending a steam rally where there was a large beer tent serving all sorts of lovely ales - which I had been sampling all afternoon.

Being disinclined to walk any further than necessary, I'd borrowed a folding shopping type bike from a friend to get around on. It's small ballon tyres and general wobbly instability meant it was less than ideal for doing wheelies on, but by that stage did I care? I did not, and proceeded, according to onlookers, to perform a series of ever more improbable stunts.

Eventually the inevitable happened and I came back to earth with a crash, my lower abdomen meeting the end of the handlebar with enough force to bend the bar double. The searing pain was enough to sober me up instantly and I dragged my broken body away to die. Well, dear reader, I didn't die but by next morning my balls looked a pair of swollen over ripe plums, and the old chap was a veritable rainbow of green, red, and purple bruising.

It took some weeks for things to return to normal, but a few months later I noticed a lump in the groinal area, which gradually became larger and more painful until I couldn't walk more than a hundred or so yards without having to sit down and recover.

I ended up by being referred to a very nice surgeon who informed me that the ruptured abdominal muscle would need to be repaired and reinforced and if I'd have come to see him a year or so back the operation would have been a lot easier and I wouldn't have had such a long scar afterwards.

Still, I did get eight weeks off work on full pay while I recovered…

TLDR.
Man gets pissed, crashes pushbike, needs surgical attention afterwards to fix rupture.
(Snabblim Dropfritt, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:36, 2 replies)

Steam Rally, Real Ale, Folding Bike, Protected Income
Throat beard alert!
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 13:43, closed)

Ha!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Nov 2013, 17:41, closed)