You seem to have a failure of imagination here
You really can't fathom why someone would (for example) have had a bad day at work and want to tell you about it, without wanting you to advise them to resign, hit their boss or explain to them slowly and carefully where they went wrong?

www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Good-Listener
( in vino veritas, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 12:43, 1 reply)

There's a difference
A bad day at work is not a problem to be solved, it's just shit happening. By all means have a moan about that once in a while. On the other hand, a wanker colleague or difficult boss is something you can usually do something about if it's really that bad.
(lolwhites, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 13:00, closed)

Perhaps you're actually incorrectly classifying a woman's "shit happening"
as "problem to be solved" then?
( in vino veritas, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 13:16, closed)

Depends whether it's a one-off
or Every Single Working Day
(lolwhites, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 13:17, closed)

Oh
There's only a finite amount of shit that's allowed to happen?
( in vino veritas, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 13:19, closed)

Exactly
If it's the same shit every day, it becomes a problem you can do something about.
(lolwhites, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 13:28, closed)

Or something that she'd regularly like to have a moan about
OK, think about it another way. Imagine you needed advice and all you got was empathy.

-Darling, where's the ice-scraper? The car windscreen's all icy.
-Hmm, you sound like you need the ice-scraper.
-Yes. Yes, I do. Where is it?
-It's probably quite frustrating for you that you haven't got an ice-scraper when your windscreen's icy.
-Yes! Now where is the bloody thing?
-I can hear you're angry. There there, poor you. I'll make a cup of tea and we'll sit and have a chat about it.
-AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!

Annoying isn't it? You're doing the same thing, but the other way around.
( in vino veritas, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 13:57, closed)

"like to have a moan"
Sums it up exactly. I don't "like" to have a moan, I prefer not to have things I need to moan about. I find it easier both on myself and my other half to actually do something about it.

People who like to moan should find like-minded individuals. I just happen not to be one of them. Does that make me a bad person?
(lolwhites, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 14:09, closed)

I'm just trying to help you solve your communication problem
I'm assuming that you're asking for help (as per your stated criteria) and am showing you where you're going wrong. Thus solving your problem.

Isn't that what you wanted me to do?

Forgive me, but it seems very much like you're actually just moaning that some women don't behave the way you'd like them to, rather than analysing where you're going wrong and attempting to make changes.
( in vino veritas, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 14:16, closed)

Thank you for being constructive
But as I've pointed out, I do empathise with a bad day at work/getting stuck in traffic/insensitive comment from a relative and so on.

My beef is more cases like the one court escaper points out in his reply.
(lolwhites, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 14:36, closed)